Too Many Video Games Will Rot Your Brain- Story 1 (Verse 9)
by MistyMay6886
Summary: Simon Lewis is just your average, geeky guy working a tech support job at a local electronics store; it's not glamorous but overall he's happy…Then he receives an email of what he thinks is beta version of a brand new video game from an old high school acquaintance… Of course he opens it... Only it's not a game and his life will never be the same… (Based on TV Show Chuck)
1. Chapter 1- Real Danger of unknown downlo

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

Simon Lewis is just your average, kinda geeky guy working a tech support job at a local electronics store; it's not glamorous but overall he's happy…

Then one day he receives an email of what he thinks is beta version of a brand new video game from an old high school acquaintance…

He's never been a fan of the smug, overconfident Jace, but if he has one weakness it's a brand new- not even on the market yet Video game…

Of course he opens it...

Only it's not a game and his life will never be the same…

_**Notes:**_

***Blanket Note For All Verses 3-9***

_Kay, so here's the thing, originally I was planning on starting these kinda in shifts, but I'm impatient and I really want to get this stuff going…_

_So over the next three weeks I am going to be starting universes_

_3-9_

_****(10 won't start till the others are well underway for a very specific reason)****_

_So some of them may take a bit to update but I will have the 1st half of chapter 1 up for all of them by May 10th (I'm setting me a deadline damnit)_

_The SEM Verse is still my main focus right now and will still be updated at least once a week…the others updates will be a bit more random depending on which one my mind is running with at that moment_

_I know it seems like a lot and not gonna lie that's cause it IS but my mind has been running with these for over a year now, I think it'll work out just fine…_

_All the universes I will most likely just update half a chapter at a time__._ _The 1st stories of them will mainly just be introducing our characters and getting a feel for the world so- with the exception of the 40's with a twist the 1st stories will only be 8 chapters,_

_Kay onto our regularly scheduled program_

Alright Last one (Well except 10 but that'll be a while yet for…reasons…)- I know I'm not starting them in order but this is verse 9, so technically it's the last one…oh you know what I mean.

So this verse is based on the show Chuck and kinda just came about because I think Saphael deserves to be front and center for at least one verse Damnit!

_(I know I split it pretty equally but most every verse is pretty Malec centric)_

Nevertheless I really adore Simon and Raphael and I wanted to give them center stage for at least one verse _(Well…actually one other will have them be a pretty strong focus- but that'd be spoilers…you'll just have to keep reading to figure out which one)_

In addition to that Simon just SO fit the Chuck character perfectly- a kinda nerdy guy ends up getting a computer downloaded into his head and turns into a perfect spy-

Well…when it works…

So this'll be a lot of fun, we'll have a lot of craziness with this one:

We have Simon as the Not-So-Super-Spy who ends up with a computer for a brain full of government secrets, fighting skills and who the hell knows what else.

Alec is the CIA Agent tasked with protecting him, Raphael as the NSA Agent tasked with the same thing (Much to both Alec AND Raphael's annoyance), and Magnus as Simon's kind of out there best friend…

_Yeah…this'll be fun…_

_Kay, enough of me yammering, let's see where this one goes…_

_Chapter 1:_

_The REAL Danger Of Unknown Downloads...__Chapter Complete!_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

"I'm telling you Kev, it was totally the best one!"

Kevin laughed loudly, affectionately rolling his eyes, shaking his head,

"Si, that's so wrong I don't even know where to start; the graphics are jumpy and off, the sound is irritating and the music drowns out all the important dialogue-"

It was Simon's turn to roll his eyes,

"It's not THAT bad, and the storyline is way better-"

"How can you follow the story with all the annoying irritations?"

"You just don't have the focus for it…"

"No, I don't have the patience to sort through every last aspect of something just on the off chance there'll be some kind of redeemable quality buried in there somewhere-

It's a game, not a person. If I flat out don't like it it's not like it's gonna hurt it's feelings or whatever. The game does not care if I stop playing."

Simon nudged his shoulder,

"You're totally discounting 'Wreck-It-Ralph."

Kevin burst out laughing,

"Dude, that's NOT a documentary, it's a Disney movie."

Simon shrugged,

"Still…"

Kevin laughed again as they made their ways to their cars in the Technorama parking lot.

"Si, you are ridiculous."

Simon grinned,

"Whatever, you know you're gonna go home and give it another chance cause you feel bad for abandoning it."

Kevin laughed,

"I am not!"

"Yeah you will…You won't tell me cause you're too stubborn, but you totally will."

Kevin giggled, shaking his head,

"Whatever dude…You and Mags hanging out tonight?"

Simon shook his head, slumping slightly against his car,

"Nah, there's some big name group-of-the-moment in town for a concert and they're gonna be coming by the club so he's doing the whole schmoozing, impressing, 'Magnus-ing' thing…

You know how he is; five minutes he'll have them wrapped around his finger. It'll be great for Chaos…but that is SO not my thing. I'm sure I'll hear all about it tomorrow…or several times tonight when he drunk dials me cause he forgets some of us have day jobs and aren't nocturnal creatures who make their own schedule."

Kevin snorted, nodding,

"So, in other words I should probably block his number before I go to bed?"

Simon laughed, nodding quickly,

"Probably a good idea."

Kevin chuckled giving a quick wink, climbing into his car, with a cheery wave,

"See you tomorrow Si."

Simon grinned,

"See ya Kev, have fun."

He huffed playfully,

"_I'm NOT gonna try the game again!"_

"Sure you're not."

Kevin rolled his eyes once more before pulling away. Simon laughed in triumph as he pulled out of the parking lot…

_He was SO going home to play the game._

_15 Minutes Later_

Simon bounded into the courtyard, whistling tunelessly as he made his way to the condo, smiling faintly when he passed by the fountain in the center. It was always so pretty and welcoming out here, he loved this place.

Hopefully he'll be able to find a roommate soon so he can stay. He wished Kevin could have stayed, but when his uncle passed away leaving him his house with a gorgeous ocean view he understood. Besides as nice as the place was it had a lot of sentimental value for Kevin.

Uncle Quincy was always one of his favorite uncles and he spent most every summer there. Simon couldn't really fault him for wanting to live there rather than in a condo - no matter how nice the courtyard was.

He'd tried to get Simon to move with him but as nice as that was Simon felt he really needed to be making his own way and supporting himself. It would feel too much like he was just mooching off his friend. It's the same reason he'd turned Magnus down when he'd offered to help him with the rent. It was really great that he had such wonderful, supportive friends but he was twenty seven years old, he needed to stand on his own two feet.

_Plus he never wanted his friends to feel like he was using them…_

_He knew they never did, but still…_

It would be fine, he'd find a roommate soon enough. He'd posted a few ads online and even was desperate enough to put one in the actual paper but hadn't had much luck so far. He'd had a few nibbles, but none of them seemed like a good fit…

_Okay so that was putting it mildly…_

There was the girl who listed 'mother earth' as a reference, the dude with fifteen cats, The creepy girl who went on a thirty minute rant about how Technology, video games, pop culture, and chain stores were a huge government conspiracy designed to control and pacify the public (Which was kinda awkward as he works as Tech support for a big box store, and is a total nerd with near every video game available), and the dude with the loud, scary parrot that bit him, _repeatedly_…

_Yeah…it was a bit slim picking there…_

Well…the cat dude wasn't SO bad. I mean he liked pets, maybe not that many but he did say pets were okay…

Though dude did insist the cats would have to come over first and approve of the place as they had the final say…

_Okay, maybe not cat dude._

Simon sighed faintly, unlocking the door, tossing his keys in the bowl on the stand. He wandered over to the couch, plopping down gracelessly. Snagging his laptop, Simon settled back against the armrest, opening it to his email, flipping through, seeing if there was anything of interest, or any new responses for the room.

_Hmm…_

_Junk…_

_Applicant!_

A medical student, studying anatomy…sounds promising. Works part time as a taxidermist…

_Oh wow…_

_Umm…_

_Kay he SO does not need that many details on the taxidermy process…_

Yeah, umm he doesn't really want to live with someone who finds mounting, stuffing and displaying dead things this enthralling…

Not happening…

Also he may want to forward this to the police…Or a psychiatrist. This dude may need help…or monitoring…

_Yikes…_

He shakes his head, glancing over, making sure he flipped the lock on the door.

Junk…

Picture from cat dude…

_Huh…how do you even __**get**__ a cat to wear a sombrero?_

_Wow, he did not know an animal could muster that kind of utter loathing with a single look._

Applicant…that m- Oookay…never mind, they want to know how comfortable he is with casual nudity as they're a 'free spirit' and don't like the constrictions of clothes when they're home…

_Yeah…no…_

Another applicant…Ooh! They like the courtyard too…

Oh…

Because it'd be prefect when they take their water monitor for a walk and it could play in the fountain…

And there's a picture of the lizard as well…

_Uh…yeah…he's not big on sharing his home with a five foot, near hundred pound carnivorous lizard with inch long claws…_

Oookay moving on…

Junk…

Junk…

J-

_Huh?_

_Jace?_

He hasn't heard from the arrogant jackass since graduation. What the hell is he sending Simon? They never really got along, weren't anything approaching friends in any case. They'd worked a few projects together and Jace had tried hitting on him a few times before he got the hint that he was not even remotely interested.

There's some kind of attachment.

_Ugh, knowing Jace ten to one it's a picture of something he SO doesn't want to see…_

He hovers the mouse idly over the trash button, before pausing,

_Hmm…_

_Their ten year reunion was coming up soon, maybe it's about that?_

He shrugs faintly, curiosity getting the better of him…

Huh…there's no message, just the attachment…

. .testingphase

_Well, gotta admit, he wasn't expecting that._

It's some kind of computer program, but he doesn't recognize it. That's really unusual. He clicks on the info…

_Hmm even stranger;_

It has a lot of coding, far beyond what he knows. A lot that seems totally alien to him. The coding looks almost like it's for some kind of computer game, though it's unlike any he's ever seen a-

_Wait…_

_Metamorphosis Dynamics!_

He heard somewhere that's where Jace ended up working, which was a total shock- Jace had never struck him as the tech savvy type. Metamorphosis Dynamics was a hugely innovative tech company, very secretive- they had ties to everything from cutting edge medical tech, security tech, enhanced AI programs, all the way down to video games…

It's even rumored they're gonna be the ones releasing the newly rebooted High Trills Power Gate series, his absolute favorite game from when he was in High school. So far it was just all rumors b-

_W-wait…_

The computer code! The first letters are HTPG…

_C-could that b-_

_No way…_

_That's just not possible…_

Okay I mean it's _kinda_ possible. They are supposed to be making the game. AND! And he talked about it constantly in high school; Jace would always roll his eyes and make an excuse to leave when he started in on it (Which made him talk about it all the more).

_Jace wouldn't actually send him like a bootleg copy or prototype…_

_Would he?_

I mean yeah, he'd kinda had a thing for Simon in school (Which Simon is still convinced was just because Simon was one of the few people in school who didn't immediately fall at his feet and he saw it as a challenge), but really would he actually risk his job to try to impress a dude he had a tiny bit of a crush on nearly a decade ago?

Well…he HAD always been kinda reckless…it wouldn't totally be out of the realm of possibilities…

And he did know how much Simon liked the game. Gotta admit it would be kinda impressive.

_Hmm…_

He looked over the info again, contemplatively…

_Ah hell, what's he got to lose?_

Simon shrugged faintly, bouncing lightly in excitement, settling a bit more back against the armrest. He eagerly smiled, leaning a bit closer to the screen in anticipation, moving the cursor to the attachment, clicking.

For a moment nothing happens, the screen almost seems frozen.

Simon sighed in faint disappointment,

_Maybe his computer can't process-_

Suddenly the link flashes, doing some weird, irregular, strobe light type thing. The entire screen flickering between eye searing colors in a dizzyingly fast blur. Then the colors begin to change, morph into images and words all flickering far too fast to follow. It's dizzying and nauseating but Simon can't seem to look away, to even blink, seemingly rooted in place.

The images flash and flicker faster and faster, brighter and brighter, then just as suddenly as it started everything goes black, the mouse clattering to the floor from Simon's suddenly lax, motionless hand.

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

"_Wha-!" _

Simon startled awake, flailing, heart racing, looking around frantically for the threat that had awakened him, only to give a slightly relieved sigh, realizing the jarring, startling noise was just the alarm on his phone.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes with on hand fumbling with the phone silencing the alarm with the other.

_Why did he think it'd be fun waking up to the Jokers laugh?_

No one wants to be awakened by maniacal deranged laughter…still it was almost four dollars and he's gonna get his money's worth for it, damnit…

He yawned loudly, stretching, glancing around in confusion.

_Huh, why was he on the couch?_

Glancing around he gasps faintly, eyes landing on his laptop laying on the floor by the couch,

_Oh crap!_

He shuffles slightly, reaching for the computer.

_Please don't be broken! Please don't be broken…pl…_

_Ah damnit._

The screens totally blank, the power button does nothing…maybe the battery just died? Hopeful-

_Wait…w-what's…_

He froze, leaning in, looking at a slightly odd, discolored spot next to the keypad…

_What the hell?_

Oh man! The hard drive is totally fried!

How in the world did t-

Again Simon froze.

_The download. _

_The download __**Jace**__ sent. He was trying to run the program Jace sent last night. _

Damnit!

Crap! He should have known better. For heaven's sakes; half his job is repairing computers and answering tech support type questions. How many times has he rolled his eyes about a customer who totally trashed their computer by downloading something they shouldn't?

He should have known better...

Simon sighed, shaking his head faintly at himself, rubbing at his face again. He tried to remember, hoping he could pinpoint what happened. Was it an actual virus type thing or was it just too much for his computer to handle?

He thought back, trying to pinpoint it, but it was pretty fuzzy.

He remembered debating running it, almost trashing the thing _(It was from Jace after all) _but his curiosity got the better of him. He clicked on it, and he remembered for a few moments it didn't do anything….

_T-Then…_

_Then…what?_

_Huh,_

He couldn't remember anything after that...

That's really weird. He glanced over at the clock, startling faintly, nearly dropping the laptop, flailing, scrambling to catch it-

It already had a fried hard drive and who the hell knows what else from the unknown program, no sense adding a damaged case or a cracked screen to it as well.

_He had to be at work in less than an hour! _

He had to leave in fifteen minutes. Whatever this was, it could wait. He'll take the computer into work see if it's salvageable (Hopefully- he's been saving up for a new one but he's still a bit away from that yet…)

Simon carefully sat the laptop on the coffee table before scrambling up, hurrying to his room to get ready for work.

_What the hell happened?_

He'd found the email right after he got home, about six. It was just after eight in the morning now…Which means he was missing about fourteen hours.

No way he slept _that_ long…

He had to be missing something.

Again Simon tried to think back, looking for any possible clue. He remembered coming home, going through his emails, finding the one from Jace.

He remembered clicking on it and the computer freezing for a moment…he thought for a second that his computer couldn't run…

_T-then…_

He sighed, rubbing at his eyes, feeling almost lightheaded. There was nothing- he had odd flashes of bright colors and dizzying images flashing but none of them made any sense…

He took a couple deep breaths, glancing up, looking over his reflection. This was just odd…There was nothing- he couldn't remember one thing from 6pm yesterday up till 8 this morning.

That did not make any sense…

_Could it be something with the program? _

_Like that cartoon that people said caused seizures? _

I mean it seemed pretty out there- but so did just randomly blanking on nearly an entire day…

He shook his head once more, looking in the mirror, trying to quickly get his hair in some semblance of order, looking himself over.

_Well…this is about as good as it's gonna get…_

_And anywa-_

_**Oh crap! Get moving!**_

_He has to leave, like now! Actually like five minutes ago!_

Simon turned, rushing out of his room, quickly snagging his laptop, stumbling through the door, hastily locking it before turning and flat out running across the courtyard, bounding down the steps to his car, jumping in, peeling out into traffic.

Man, his day isn't even really started yet and it's already insane…

Eh, at least he got the craziest part out of the way early…

_Really, how much stranger could it get?_

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _End Of Story Notes_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

**Technorama=** Big box store specializing in electronics, music, videos, computer software, appliances

(Cheesy I know but I kinda like the sound of it)

**Nerd Herd=** People who work the information desk, handle repairs and annoying questions as well as make off sight trips for repairs.

(This is from the actual show- I couldn't resist using it)

I love the idea of Simon, Kevin and Magnus being buddies hanging out that'd be a really fun group.

_Sigh…_

_Oh Simon don't you know you NEVER ask that?_

_That's right up there with 'What could possibly go wrong?" It's practically issuing a challenge to the universe_

For those of you who haven't seen Chuck this is the courtyard area- thought it might be useful for a visual

search?q=chuck+courtyard&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjuq7XrqfjhAhWSoFsKHQ1yAZEQ_AUIDigB&biw=1094&bih=472#imgrc=JqCTgSHcK0S-uM:

I can imagine why Simon may not want to leave…

And just for the hell of it _this_ is a Water Monitor…

_So what do you guys think so far?_

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

*** 18 ***


	2. Chapter 2- Tech Support Troubles

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

_**Chapter 2:**_

_**Tech Support Troubles**_

Chapter Complete!

The usual proofing at work, hope it's okay…

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

"Simon wher-"

He shook his head, quickly waving Kevin off,

"I know, I know, I'm late- did they notice?"

Kevin shook his head,

"Nah, I got you covered, figured you wouldn't be too late, just told Mike you called and said you forgot you were on call outs today so you had to run back home to grab your ID in case we had any, you're good."

Simon slumped faintly in relief, giving a grateful smile,

"Thanks dude, don't know what I'd do without you."

Kevin grinned, shrugging,

"You never have to worry about that…I always got your back."

Simon nodded,

"Ditto…so what's up today? Did I miss anything interesting in the morning rally/meeting/team building thing?"

Kevin snorted, rolling his eyes,

"Yeah like there's ever anything interesting here. Same old, same old; Mike wants us to push the new Expedition consol, try to keep sales up, we got all caught up on the back log of repairs so all we have is whatever comes in today…

All in all it should be a pretty easy day."

Simon nodded,

"Thank goodness, maybe I'll get a chance to figure out what's up with my computer."

Kevin tilted his head, just now noticing Simon had his laptop case,

"What's wrong with your computer?"

He huffed, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity,

"The damn hard drive is fried…It was my own fault- how many times a day do we caution people about opening unknown downloads?"

Kevin snickered faintly before giving a sheepish, guilty shrug,

"Sorry…"

Simon waved him off,

"Like I said I brought it on myself, I should have known better."

"I know but still I didn't mean to laugh, that really does suck..." he paused, giving a slightly playful smirk, quirking his eyebrow in an expression he _absolutely_ picked up from Magnus,

"Hopefully the download was at least worth the trouble."

Simon blushed, rolling his eyes,

"It was nothing like THAT! And you're officially hanging out with Magnus way too much- I need to limit your guys's time together. Always knew he was a bad influence."

Kevin giggled,

"Uh huh…of course it wasn't, good deflection by the way,"

Simon sputtered,

_"Oh my god I was NOT downloading porn!"_ he exclaimed, startling slightly, realizing how loud that came out, sending a faintly apologetic look towards the couple customers standing within earshot, a group of teens and a guy in a football jersey.

"Sorry…I really wasn't…"

Football dude outright snorted, shaking his head. The teens laughed, giving totally disbelieving smirks,

"Sure you weren't."

Simon flushed brighter, moving quickly away from them, making his way to the Nerd Herd desk, Kevin falling into step beside him, still snickering faintly.

Simon glared, Kevin just gave a faint shrug,

"Sorry dude but you kinda started it…I can't believe you downloaded a-"

Simon groaned,

"It was not P-that thing that I am not gonna shout out at work again. It was nothing like that. It was an attachment from an email from someone I knew from high school. I heard he was working at Metamorphosis Dynamics and they're supposed to be doing the reboot of High Thrills Power Gate…I kinda thought it was a bootleg copy. I knew I shouldn't have opened it but it was my absolute favorite game growing up and I just couldn't resist."

Kevin paused a second, giving a faint nod,

"Okay…that I get taking the risk for…"

Simon scoffed,

"Yeah only I really should've just went with my first instinct when I saw Jace's name and trash it…it didn't work and now my hard drive's fried! I sure hope it's salvageable cause I don't have enough for a new one yet." he paused, shrugging faintly,

"Though gotta admit a computer virus is probably slightly more preferable to what I would generally expect Jace to send…so at least there's that."

Kevin snickered, eyes widening faintly,

"Ah, one of _those_ guys huh?"

Simon sighed, nodded,

"Oh yeah, big time."

"Yeah, computer virus can be fixed, hard drives replaced…to the best of my recollection they have yet to prefect brain bleach so definitely for the best."

Simon chuckled, nodding enthusiastically,

"Definitely, and a-"

"Ahem…"

They both startled at the sound of a throat clearing, turning from each other to the guy standing patiently at the Nerd Herd desk, quirking his eyebrow, giving a slightly amused smile.

Simon gave a sheepish, apologetic smile back,

"Sorry dude, I didn't see you there- been one of those days already and it's not even twenty minutes into my shift you know?"

The guy chuckled, shaking his head, waving him off, greenish hazel eyes sparking in amusement,

"It's no problem, I get it…" He glanced around the counter, eyes flickering over Simon, head tilting curiously,

"So…Simon…you're a part of the 'Nerd Herd'?" he asked, eyes flickering to Simon's nametag, giving a charming smile,

Simon blinked, glancing over in confusion at Kevin who gave a baffled shrug, then over the counter with the giant 'Nerd Herd' sign in near foot high letters emblazoned on the front, quirking his eyebrow,

"Uhh…y-yeah…That's kinda why I'm here. I'm not just some random dude who put on a bad clip on tie and ducked behind the counter to avoid detection or whatever."

The guy laughed, smiling, leaning in a bit, reaching over catching Simon's hand, shaking it, lingering for a moment.

"You're funny Simon. I'm Alec; it's really nice to meet you."

Simon blinked in confusion,

"Uhh…n-nice to meet you too Alec…so umm…did you need help with something or…?"

Alec chuckled again, eyes flickering over him before seemingly startling, blushing faintly,

"Oh umm…yeah…yeah I did…" he paused, reaching in his pocket, fishing out his phone, holding it out,

"I'm not really the best with the tech thing and I kinda locked myself out of my phone. Is there any way you can fix it for me?" he asked hopefully,

Simon shrugged,

"Uh…y-yeah…no problem, it's actually really easy on this model to reset the password. All you have to do is hold the home button and the power button for five seconds till the screen shuts off, then hold the power button until it goes to the splash screen. Than just hit 11001102 and the power button three times. It resets back to the default passcode from when the phone was first activated."

Alec blinked, giving a kind of sheepish shrug, shaking his head,

"I don't really know what most of that means…sorry."

Simon shrugged,

"It's okay, here I'll show you."

Alec smiled gratefully, leaning in to see what Simon was doing. Simon swallowed nervously, feeling kind of confused by this whole thing. Unless he was reading things WAY wrong the dude was hitting on him. The instructions weren't overly complicated, and he was way closer than necessary….

Plus Alec didn't seem to be focusing on the phone; rather he kept glancing over at Simon curiously. Also He's 90% sure when he hit the power button the screen was actually unlocked…

And he didn't have the phone out when he came up; he had to kind of fumble for it like an afterthought…

Plus he had on a top of the line iwatch…

If he has that he knows how to work tech…at least enough to unlock his own phone…

_Alright that was weird…_

Why was some random- admittedly hot- guy pretending to be tech illiterate just to strike up a conversation with him?

_That just did not happen…not to _**_him_**_ in any case…_

He was not the 'make up an excuse to flirt with guy'- that as Magnus…or sometimes Kevin. He was the 'make up an excuse to get out of this conversation on the merits of a Doctor Who/Doctor Strange crossover guy'.

Random GQ model looking guys didn't just randomly wander up and make excuses to chat with a dude with 'nerd' in his literal job title- not unless said nerd herder is standing next to Magnus as a way in…

There had to be something up here…

He glanced around furtively,

_This had to be some set up for a prank…_

_That was the only explanation he could come up with…_

_Alright, this day was already weird enough, he didn't need to be made the butt of a joke or a piece in a nerd scavenger hunt or whatever the hell this was…nevertheless he was at work and the guy was a customer…_

_He had to remain professional…_

He finished the password reset, handing it back to Alec with a slight smile,

"There you go, all set."

Alec gave a bright, relieved smile,

"Thank you Simon- you're a life saver."

He shook his head,

"No problem, just doing my job…have a great day Alec."

Alec blinked in surprise at the slight dismissal quirking his eyebrow, before shaking it off, shrugging,

"I really do appreciate it…how much do I owe you?"

Simon shook his head, waving him off,

"Oh, no charge, it really was nothing…"

Alec smiled,

"Thanks just the same, I really do appreciate the help. I'd be pretty lost without that damn phone…" he paused, eyes flickering over Simon once more, giving a slightly flirtatious smirk, eyes brightening in amusement,

"Though you _**do**_ know the measqe reset is far quicker than the Xian reset you used, right? Bit more complicated to talk a layman through though," he smirked winking at Simon and Kevin's shocked expressions, shrugging,

"Gotta admit the extra wait was totally worth it. _Really_ great meeting you… I had no idea there were such cute guys in tech support, may have to find something else to be 'baffled' by…" He winked, eyes flickering over Simon once more, giving a slight shrug, before turning, beginning for the door,

"Have a good day Simon…you too Kevin." he called over his shoulder with a bit of a wave, leisurely making his way out of the store.

Simon blinked uncomprehendingly, glancing over at Kevin pointing towards the door Alec had just gone out.

"Umm…dude w-"

He shrugged, giving a slightly disbelieving sound,

"I don't even know dude..."

Simon nodded,

"Oookay least we're on the same page here."

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

_Oh my god this was a weird freaking day!_

The thing with his computer, being late to work _(he's NEVER late for work!), _accidently shouting about porn at work- _thanks a lot Kev_-, that weird hot guy randomly making up an excuse to flirt with him (And seriously what was up with that?) and all that was just in the first hour of his shift.

After that it was yet more bizarreness…and yeah with their crew at Technorama that's kinda expected but still, this was just never ending.

There was a shoplifter who tried to make a run with a TV…it didn't work, he was on a bike, he made it ten feet before dropping the TV and falling on his ass. The TV wasn't damaged and there was an off duty cop in the freaking parking lot…so at least they wouldn't have to deal with that moron for a while- how he thought he was gonna make a get-a-way with a 40inch TV on a freaking bike Simon will never know.

They had two laptops come in for repair, should've been easy enough; it was slow enough they were able to handle it at the nerd herd desk rather than taking them to the back room to fix. Well…it seemed like a good idea at the time. It would have been simple, except when one of the laptops booted back up it opened on something Simon would have been perfectly happy never seeing…or hearing…the thing came on with the speakers full blast…that was awkward as hell- and those damn teens from this morning were STILL in the store, didn't they have anything better to do damnit? It was a school day! Who ditches school to hang out at a freaking department store?

He blamed Kevin; he put the whole 'porn' thing out in the universe, totally his doing.

Though he got the idea he was having a better day than the lady who brought it in's husband was gonna have…it was his laptop.

She was going to meet him for lunch and wanted to surprise him with it as he hadn't had the time to bring it to get checked out and their anniversary was coming up…

_Ouch…_

So at least his day wasn't THAT bad…

He had only one call out for a repair but it went nowhere- literally the address he was given was clear across town and when he got there it was a boarded up Pizza Hut. He tried calling back but the number but it just rang.

Damn prank callers.

So he wasted over two hours and braved rush hour traffic on a completely useless trip.

Add in the idiots with nothing better to do than try to come up with questions to 'stump the nerds', the guy who argued with him for thirty minutes that he didn't know what he was talking about when he said a flashdrive and a hard drive were not in fact the same thing, two guys who were either drunk or high spending over an hour setting in the media center watching cartoons before security chased them off, and the frazzled lady who nearly had the store on lockdown because she couldn't find one of her kids, only to remember nearly thirty minutes later- after the police had been called- that the kid spent the night at his grandparents the night before and was still there…

_ugh…_

Yeah...he doesn't know what the hell's going on today…

Maybe it's a full moon, or mercury's in retrograde or whatever.

He never did get a chance to work on his computer, he just left it in the back room, hopefully he'll get a chance tomorrow.

In any case he's done and gets to go home. It kinda sucks he won't have his computer but after today even he could use a bit of a break from tech…plus he always has his phone.

He sighed faintly, relieved to pull up in front of the condo. Climbing out of the car he paused, stretching slightly, glad to be out of the car, eager to just go in and relax. Slipping into the gate, making his way through the courtyard, pausing momentarily by the fountain. It was always so soothing out here, he really needed to find a roommate, and maybe he'll have some good news on that front. He checked his emails at lunch but there weren't any other applicants.

Well there was another email from the cat dude…saying he couldn't take the room as Mr. Fluffers didn't like the blue paint on the walls in the photos he showed him. He said he was out unless Simon agreed to have the place painted one of the shades of the paint swatches he sent.

Yeah, sorry to Mr. Fluffers… but he's not taking interior design tips from a cat…

Especially one that thinks eye searing lime is an appropriate wall color, I mean if he'd be reasonable with the color choices t-

_Aaand…he is now mentally arguing color schemes with a cat that isn't even here…_

_That's it, he's done for the day._

Clearly he needs to just regroup, relax and try again tomorrow. Hopefully he got all the crazy out today.

Maybe he'll just settle in for the night, order in something and have dinner out here on one of the benches around the fountain…

That might be kinda nice. A way to get a bit of a reset after the day he had.

_Yeah, that'd do it..._

He took a deep breath, turning from the fountain, making his way to his door, putting his key in beginning to twist before pausing…

_W-wait…_

_It's unlocked…_

_T-that's…_

That's weird…he's sure he locked it when he left, he always locks it…even if he's just home by himself, force of habit from when he was younger- this place was in a pretty nice neighborhood but that hadn't always been the case when he was growing up, and old habits are hard to break.

_Oh for god sakes, if there was a break in on top of everything else today…_

He shook his head, instantly tense and on high alert. Reaching in his pocket he fished out his phone, hitting 911, finger hovering over the button before cautiously turning the knob, just barely cracking the door to peek inside, heart in his throat.

Alright, so far so good, it looks normal. TV, stereo, gaming consoles, all still there.

It's not ransacked; everything looks like it did when he left this morning. Living room looks fine. He slipped in, looking for something to take with him for protection just in case, eyes falling on the only thing even slightly useful for protection.

_Really?_

Why couldn't he just be a normal dude with a baseball bat by the door?

Okay, whatever, it has to do…

He reached over slipping one of the replica light sabers out of the holder hitting the button on it, the thing glowing red…

_Well…it's the best he can do…_

_He is SO buying a baseball bat tomorrow, this is just embarrassing…but it's better than nothing…_

_He thinks…_

He sighed, making his way through the living room, slowly going through the rest of the house, room by room. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finished checking the last room, slumping against the wall, turning the light saber off, hanging up his phone, putting it back in his pocket.

He reached up, rubbing at his face, trying to will the tension out of his shoulders. he pushed off, making his way back to the living room, collapsing on the sofa.

_Oh thank god…_

Okay…

We're good…

He's good. He must have just forgot to lock it. I mean that never happened but, hell he's also never been late to work and never had a random guy play dumb as an excuse to flirt with him so it really just went right along with the rest of the insanity.

And he _was_ in a hurry this morning. He thought he locked it, but it's possible he got distracted or it somehow slipped his mind.

_Yeah…yeah…that had to be it._

Everything looked normal, like it did when he'd lef-

His thoughts stalled, tilting his head, looking at the coffee table in confusion. Why was the copy of Gods Of War on top of the stack of PS4 games? He hadn't played that in over a month.

That's odd.

And…a-are they straighter?

He glanced around, tilting his head in confusion, looking for anything unusual. There's nothing missing, but unless his imagination is getting the better of him, some things are moved. The stack of mail is kinda off, the throw pillows on the couch kinda looked fluffed…a-and

Hey…there's a spot on the couch…He remembers that spot! Magnus spilled a garish blue-violet cocktail there and he couldn't get it to come up because it had blueberry juice in it…he'd ended Up just flipping the cushion and call it a day.

Why was the cushion flipped back over?

He did not do that…

There was no reason he would have…

He swallowed, blinking, eyes slipping around the room nervously.

Alright…this was pretty freaky.

Someone was in his house.

They didn't take anything…but they went through things.

Why would someone do that?

He swallowed again, slowly standing up.

Okay this was creepy…he needed to get out of here for a minute. Maybe he's just imagining things. Magnus spilled that months ago…it's possible in that time he'd flipped it over for some reason or another and just didn't realize it.

But he didn't think so.

What should he do? Call the cops? And what, Say someone broke into his house and straightened up and flipped a cushion?

Even HE thought that was crazy…

It had to just be his imagination…he was just freaked out cause he'd left the door unlocked and his imagination was running wild…

That's it…

That had to be it.

In any case he had to get out of here for a little while. Maybe he'd just go grab dinner somewhere, relax a minute.

He took a deep breath nodding to himself, standing up, quickly grabbing his keys wallet and phone, making his way to the door. He slipped out, pulling the door to, this time double checking the lock, before slipping his things in his pocket, making his way back across the courtyard a bit quicker than usual.

It was fine…

It was just a crazy day getting the best of him…

He just needed a bit of a reset.

A nice quiet, relaxing dinner and he'll be fine.

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _End Of Chapter Notes_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

Yes I know Alec flirting with Simon was odd and confusing…That was totally intentional… no I'm not mixing up the couples… yes I know where I'm going with this…no it doesn't involve any unrequited crushes or jealously drama…this'll be fun I promise.

Think it's fair to say Simon's pretty confused by this point…He's probably not gonna be any less confused anytime soon…

So what do you guys think so far?

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

*** 18 ***


	3. Chapter 3- A Chance Encounter…That's Any

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

_**Chapter 3:**_

_**A Chance Encounter…That's Anything But Chance**_

Chapter Complete! _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

_Okay…alright…you're fine…_

It's just the toll of a weird, crazy day. That's all. Your mind's running, playing tricks on you. See…that's why you need to just stick to Scifi type shows- you watch mysteries, spy craft type shows and all of a sudden you get suspicious, start seeing conspiracies and plots everywhere, jumping at shadows. This is why you stick to _**Scifi;**_ your mind runs too much with the rest.

No one broke into your place; if they did they'd of taken something, not just looked through your games and mail and flip a cushion. No one's gonna break into your house to snoop on you-

Why would they?

You had a crazy morning, you were in a hurry, and you forgot to lock the door. It happens. Maybe it hasn't happened to you before, but it does happen. And it makes a hell of a lot more sense than someone breaking into your place just to get a peek at your stuff.

_Dude…you're not that interesting._

You're not a celebrity, athlete or a spy; you're a videogame obsessed twenty seven year old nerd working customer service and computer repair. No one's snooping on you, no one broke in; you just forgot to lock your door. It's been a crazy day, you just need a break. Set down, relax, have a good meal and decompress. After that all of this madness will ease and you can go home and put this whole crazy day behind you.

Simon took one more deep breath, nodding faintly to himself as he pulled up in front of Emilie's, glancing over towards the brightly colored, welcoming little burger place. He smiled, already feeling a bit of the tension easing in his shoulders. He loved this place; it really didn't look like much- just a festively painted hole in the wall type place but the burgers were amazing. It had a real home town kinda feel; always managing to put him at ease. Simon opened his door, climbing out of the car.

Oh good, there were still a couple tables on the patio open, that'd be perfect. It's a nice night, crisp and clear, the sun just set, stars beginning to appear. Exactly what he needs right now.

He smiled, bounding up the steps, blinking faintly in surprise.

_Man, the place is hopping tonight!_

He can't remember seeing this place so busy. Luckily there was no line but there was also not one seat left inside. He shook his head, making his way up to the counter, spotting Astrid one of his favorite waitresses passing out drinks at a nearby table. She flashed a quick smile, nodding, finishing up with the table before making her way back over to the counter.

He smiled, glancing around at the crowd, quirking his eyebrow,

She rolled her eyes, huffing faintly,

"Hey Simon, I know, it's a total madhouse. Some big playoff game at the high school- they won, everyone and then some's out celebrating and we had two people call out. Sorry we're completely swamped, probably gonna be a bit of a wait tonight."

Simon chuckled, waving her off,

"It's no problem Astrid. I had a very long, crazy day; I have no problem setting and relaxing a bit on the patio."

She laughed, nodding,

"Kay thanks Simon, your usual and a coke right?"

He nodded, retrieving his wallet, quickly pulling out a couple bills.

"Yes please."

She smiled, taking the money, ringing it up before turning grabbing a cup filling up his drink, passing it over to him with one more apologetic smile,

"I'll have it out as soon as I can."

He shook his head, giving a bright smile,

"It's fine really, no rush. I'm gonna go snag a seat before they all fill up, just get it out whenever you get a chance. I'm really fine waiting."

She nodded, flashing a grateful smile before turning to the next person in line. Simon moved aside, making his way back out the door, hurrying over to one of the only open tables, a little two seater at the very edge of the patio, right along the walkway. He reached over, taking a sip of his drink before pulling out his phone, settling in for a fairly lengthy wait. Really that seemed perfectly fine by him- the food was more than worth the wait and he wasn't exactly in a hurry to get back home. He really couldn't imagine why someone would want to go through his things- he HAD to of just forgot to lock the door. It was the only thing that made any sense whatsoever…But he could have sworn he locked the door. And it could be his imagination but things did not look right. It was just small things…but still he couldn't shake the little niggling feeling in the back of his head.

He sighed, trying to shake it off, taking out his phone, beginning to pull up Candy Crush. At least it'd take his mind off of t-

"Simon?"

Simon blinked, glancing up, eyes falling on the speaker. He blinked again,

_Oookay…apparently he's not done with the oddness of the day…_

"Umm…h-hey…Alec right?"

He smiled nodding, brushing his hair back,

"Yeah...man it's crowded tonight."

Simon nodded,

"Yeah, they're totally swamped- short staffed and a winning high school game- kinda a perfect storm for chaos. I've never seen it this busy…have you?"

Alec shrugged,

"Actually it's my first time here- I've heard a lot of good things, figured I'd check it out. Of course I didn't realize I happened to choose the busiest night to do that, I put in my order but she said it'd take a while." He paused, glancing around, kind of rocking on his heels,

Simon sighed,

"Hey, it's pretty packed; do you want to sit with me while you wait?"

Alec blinked in surprise, nodding,

"Sure…if you don't mind? I don't want to intrude or anything."

Simon smiled, shaking his head,

"You're not intruding, take a seat, it's fine."

Alec flashed a grateful smile, slipping into the other chair,

"Thanks Simon."

He shrugged,

"No problem…" He trailed off awkwardly, not really sure what to say,

Alec sighed, leaning forward with a sheepish shrug,

"Umm…so…sorry about this morning. I really wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable."

Simon flailed slightly,

"Dude…I gotta ask, what WAS that? Some kind of prank or…"

Alec chuckled, shaking his head,

"What? No, no prank…you were cute, I took a shot. Admittedly it wasn't a great shot, but no harm in trying right?"

Simon blushed, laughing,

"Right no harm, except enforcing the thought that I somehow woke up in bizzaro world. Though to be fair it fit perfectly with the rest of my day so I guess there is that."

Alec quirked his eyebrow,

"That bad huh?"

Simon rolled his eyes, nodding emphatically,

"Oh yeah, dude, you don't even know. Woke up late to a broken computer, I was late to work- the first time ever, I yelled about porn at work which…well you were at the store then, you probably saw how that went, then the whole freaky/flirty/confusing thing with you-uh no offense-" Simon trailed off sheepishly,

Alec laughed, waving him off,

"No problem…man that is a day."

Simon flailed,

"_Dude that was just the first hour! _I had a call out to nowhere, yet _another_ porn related mishap at work- no less awkward than the first, then the police were called and the store practically on lockdown for a missing kid who wasn't even missing, the lady just forgot she didn't have him with her today. Then I get an email from a guy on a room I'm trying to rent saying one of his fifteen cat doesn't like my décor so he has to opt out unless I repainted- and apologies to Mr. Fluffers but I'm not taking interior design tips from a cat- especially one with that bad of taste.

Then I _**finally**_ get out of work and home and my door's unlocked and I must've just forgot to lock it but I could of sworn I did and now I keep thinking things have been moved and someone was in my place which is seriously creeping me out…

So…ugh…yeah…i-it's been a day."

Alec blinked in surprise, shaking his head, giving a low whistle,

"Wow…you weren't kidding. Well for my part of the insanity I'm sorry."

Simon chuckled, shaking his head,

"It's fine…I am flattered. Thoroughly confused, but flattered nonetheless."

Alec smiled, nodding,

"Still sorry…I really didn't mean to add to the drama of the day."

Simon shrugged,

"It's okay… kinda threw me, that's all. Least I'm done with the craziness."

Alec smiled, nodding,

"That's…" he trailed off, eyes flickering from Simon over towards the street, suddenly going tense, eyes sharp,

"That may not be true…"

Simon tilted his head in confusion,

"Wha-"

Alec leaned forward, looking in Simon's eyes, all humor gone, gaze suddenly sharp and kind of unsettling, he swallowed,

"Simon…you said you thought someone was in your place? That it seemed things were moved?"

He shook his head faintly,

"Well yeah, b-"

"I think you're right. There's a black Sedan parked across the street. It was at the store this morning when I was there."

Simon flailed slightly, trying to turn to see, Alec caught his hand.

"Don't turn…Here." He picked up his phone, pretending to check something, hitting random buttons, subtly snapping a photo. He smiled, giving an apologetic shrug, setting it back on the table, turning it so Simon could see.

"Try not to react too much. There's three men in the car, and a fourth that's with them. The guy standing over by that light blue car looking at the map? I saw him get out of the car this morning. The driver keeps looking this way. Have you seen it before?"

Simon looked down, freezing, feeling that little prickly feeling on the back of his neck. He swallowed, giving a slight, barely perceptible nod,

"Y-yeah…when I was leaving my place…I remember the license plate; 333FOE. It sort of rhymed, stood out to me."

Alec nodded, squeezing his hand, leaning forward, flashing a seemingly relaxed smile,

"Okay…don't panic. It could be a coincidence. Where are you parked?"

Simon's eyes widened,

"The light blue car…the one map dudes next to, it's mine…_what do I do?"_

Alec took a deep breath,

"It's alright…My car's just around the corner. We're gonna get up and casually make our way over there, see if they follow. Okay?"

Simon swallowed, nodding.

Alec chuckled, giving a playful smile, sharp, calculating eyes betraying the casual act. He leaned forward, squeezing Simon's hand,

"Simon, try not to look so freaked out, if they're watching that's a huge red flag. Try to relax, maybe laugh?"

Simon nodded quickly, giving a way too loud, kind of high pitched, slightly manic laugh. Alec cringed at the sound, nodding,

"Okay…maybe dial it back a bit."

Simon huffed, giving a sarcastic wave,

"Oh sorry, this is my first experience with stalking!"

Alec laughed, shrugging,

"Not mine…just follow my lead."

Simon sputtered faintly, trying not to totally freak out.

_**Who's this calm when being stalked by dudes in a black Sedan!?**_

_That is not normal!_

_That's the beginning of a freaking Liam Neesan movie!_

Okay…he has a point, dial it back, try to stay calm…It might be your imagination….

But that IS the same car…

And this is weird…maybe it's nothing…

"O-okay…what do we do?"

Alec smiled, squeezing his hand once more. He stood up, tugging Simon hand, pulling him up, smoothly slipping his arm around Simon's shoulders, leaning in, right by Simons ear,

"Alright, try to look interested, not terrified."

Simon nodded, beginning to move away from the table. Simon took a deep breath, trying to glance over subtly.

He squeaked…

"Umm…T-there moving…"

Alec glanced over, spotting the passengers getting out, beginning across the street towards the guy by Simon's car. All three of the men were dressed in black and wearing sunglasses. The guy on the left shifted his jacket, revealing a gun holster.

_Oooh Crap…_

"I think we need to move faster." Simon whispered frantically,

Alec nodded,

"I think you're right…" He tugged Simon along, picking up the speed slipping around the corner of the building, making his way over to a sleek black car, hitting a button on his keys, the lights flashing, car starting up. He opened the door, waving Simon forward, Simon's steps faltered…

_This was just insane…_

Alec widened his eyes, waving him forward frantically,

"Quick, get in!"

Behind them Simon heard tires squeal, the black Sedan tearing around the corner, the windows down, there's a glimpse of a metallic flash,

_Okay hesitation over_

Simon rushed over, Alec catching his arm, pushing him into the car, Simon scrambling across to the passenger seat, before Alec practically threw himself in, a series of loud pops following. He pulls the door shut, the car roaring to life. Alec slams down on the gas pedal, tearing off into the night, the Sedan hot on their heels.

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_

_What the HELL is going on!?_

_He is in a freaking high speed chase! What in t-_

Simon's thoughts are cut off by the sound of sharp pops and metal on metal

_What th-_

"They're shooting at us!"

Alec nodded, not even glancing back, hitting the gas, darting in and out of traffic, taking turn after turn, trying to shake the Sedan.

"I know, it's fine, car's bullet proof…It'd take a RPG to get through. All we have to do is lose them…I got it."

Simon flailed,

"_What the hell does a roll playing game have to do with anything?! And why are you so damn calm!?_

Alec rolled his eyes, all in all way too damn calm for a freaking high speed chase involving guns,

"You can drop the nerd act, it's pretty convincing but think we're a bit past all of that."

Simon flailed again,

"_What act!? I'm not acting, I'm totally this nerdy!"_

And again with the eye rolling,

"Uh huh, look this really isn't the time for this little game. I don't know what kinda deal you were working with The Collective but they wouldn't of held up their end. They were planning on killing you as soon as you made the drop. Were you working for another organization or are you just a go-between?" he glances back at the road, tires squealing darting between two cars nearly cutting off a big-rig, dropping back cutting over three lanes of traffic with barely a glance, darting onto a random exit,

Simon blinked, scooting a bit closer to the door, not sure what scares him more, the driving, the bullets or the clearly deranged driver…

_W-wha-what in the hell is he talking about?_

_Oh my god…he's in a high speed chase with a nutcase behind the wheel…_

_Oh god…he is SO gonna die like this…_

He swallowed, double checking his seatbelt, scooting as far away as possible from the driver's seat.

"W-umm…Oookay… Alec? I can tell you think you know what's going on here but I really have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just a nerd herder. I work for a big box store- Technorama…we met there this morning. Y-you know this…remember?"

He huffed, glancing over faintly annoyed,

"Really? Still playing that? Come on; we don't really have time for the games. You were planning a hand off, but it was gonna end up a hit- they wouldn't of let you walk out of there- you know too much."

Simon flailed, sputtering,

"_There's no way I know too much!_ I don't know a damn thing! I have no clue what the hell's going on! I'm in a freaking high speed chase in a for some reason thankfully bulletproof car being driven by a crazy man who thinks I'M planning some shady hand off at my favorite burger place!

I wasn't doing a hand off, I have no clue who 'The Collective' is or what they could want from me or why they'd think I have something for them or why they'd want me dead!

I just went out to get a burger cause I was too freaked to stay in my place cause I thought someone broke in and seeing as there's the whole high speed chase thing I'm guessing that was right and it's all connected and oh my GOD I don't know what the hell is going on!" He trailed off, gasping for air, feeling lightheaded and slightly ill, on the verge of tears because this was just all way too much,

Alec blinked, glancing over, shaking his head, a bit of uncertainty in his odd hazel eyes,

"You…really have no idea?"

"_NO! I don't, I don't, I don't!_ I've been saying that! I don't know who you are, I don't know why you're so relaxed about stalking and being shot at and high speed chases, I don't know why you have so obviously been following me too- which is totally freaking me out even more than the MIB wannabe's with the guns chasing us. I don't know who they are, I don't know why they're after me or why they want me dead or what you all think I had to hand off that's apparently worth my life or any of the rest! _**I don't know damnit!**_ I have nothing for you guys, any of you…god I don't know what the hell is going on with this day but I'm done…I'm just done…"

They are both quiet for a moment, the car slowing to a more normal pace. Simon hasn't heard the bullets in a few minutes; he thinks they lost the Sedan a couple maneuvers ago. So at least he's lost one bit of the insanity…though at the moment that's not the part that he's most worried about. He's in a car with some guy way too comfortable with car chases and being shot at, who's apparently been stalking him all day…

"Simon…I think there's been a mix up."

He scoffed, flailing giving a sarcastic glare,

"_Ya think!?"_

Alec quirked his eyebrow, giving a slightly amused smile, shrugging,

"At least you seem like you're doing better. Flailing sarcasm is a hell of a lot better than near hopelessly overwhelmed."

Simon blinked,

"You know what? I was just shot at and driven in a high speed chase by a mad man stalker, you don't get to judge me."

Alec chuckled, holding one hand up placatingly,

"I'm not judging…I'm just relieved…Sarcasm and anger I can deal with, terrified and panicking not so much. And I'm not a Madman, or a stalker- I'm actually a CIA agent."

Simon gave a disbelieving scoff,

"Uh huh and I'm a warlock…we should totally team up to fight crime."

Alec laughed, shaking his head, reaching in his pocket, pulling out his wallet, flipping it open, holding it out. Simon took it, looking it over, blinking in surprise, glancing back at Alec,

He smirked, quirking his eyebrow,

"You were saying?"

"Uhh…"

Alec chuckled, shaking his head,

"It's fine…I know it's hard to believe- even though I did just talk you though an escape and successfully navigated a high speed chase through the busy streets of Santa Barbra while being shot at. Still probably best not just to take someone's word on something like this."

Simon shrugged, settling back in the seat, tentatively moving away from the door, turning slightly to face him,

"So…umm…why is a CIA agent stalking a random nerdhearder?"

Alec shook his head, smiling,

"I wasn't 'stalking' I was working a mission."

Simon flailed, rather alarmed,

"I'm not a 'mission'. Why would the CIA be interested in me? I-it's a mix up right? Like you said?"

Alec sobered shrugging,

"So it would appear, though that doesn't really fix anything…just complicates it even more so."

Simon quirked his eyebrow,

"What do you mean? Alec what is this all about?"

Alec sighed,

"Simon, how do you know Jace Wayland?"

Simon blinked, tilting his head in confusion,

"Jace? I don't…I mean, not really. I went to high school with him and he hit on me far longer than it should've taken him to get the hint I wasn't interested. We we're never even friends. I haven't talked to him since…

Why? W-wait…is this seriously about the game?"

It was Alec's turn to blink in confusion,

"Game?"

Simon nodded quickly, shifting more to face him

"Yeah! I got an email from him yesterday. I wasn't even gonna open it cause, well…I know you didn't know him but he's kinda the obnoxious type to send things that I SO do not want to see…

Like at all…"

Alec gave a surprised laugh, nodding, a bit of a warm glint lighting his eyes,

"No I get that...probably a good reflex with him."

Simon nodded back, continuing,

"Yeah so anyways I was gonna just trash it but I remembered hearing somewhere he got a job at Metamorphosis Dynamics and they're supposed to be remaking this game that I loved in high school. I always talked about it with Jace- partly because I liked it so much and partly because when I went off on a tangent about it he'd get bored and leave me alone-"

Alec gave a surprised laugh, smiling before his eyes dimmed, a faintly hurt look flickering though his expression before his eyes shutter, nodding,

"So you thought he was sending you a copy of the game?"

Simon nodded, before pausing, eyes wide,

"Yeah a- wait…that's not what it is right? I mean the CIA isn't just like really cracking down on video game piracy…right?"

Alec gave a surprised burst of a laugh, shaking his head,

"Uh…no…no it's a fair bit more serious than that." he paused, sobering, eyes shuttering once more,

"Simon, Jace works for The Collective. He's a counteragent working against the government, or rather he was. The program he sent you was part of a top secret government project. We have footage of the theft, agents tried to apprehend him when he was leaving the building but they lost them. He downloaded it to a device but we believe with him being caught on camera The Collective ended up burning him, deciding he was too much of a liability.

The agents that were sent to apprehend him reported another group firing at him. He got away from both…he's now in the wind, probably deep underground as he is now being pursued by not only every government agency in existence but his former criminal cohorts as well."

Simon blinked rapidly, running that back through a few times, it making no more sense as the first time…

_Jace was a spy?_

_An Evil Spy?_

_What?_

"T-that's insane…it's Jace! I had trouble believing he worked at a tech firm…and you're telling me he was an actual counter government agent? Like a spy…an evil spy? That does not make sense."

Alec scoffed, nodding,

"Tell me about it…but it's true. I wish it wasn't but it is. I saw the video myself- it wasn't altered, he wasn't being forced to do it. He was alone, and it was him, without a shadow of a doubt. He broke into a government facility and copied the program. He did it…and god only knows what else he's done." he trailed off shaking his head, swallowing, a look of such sadness and betrayal passing over his features.

_Oh…maybe Alec did know Jace…_

_Apparently very well…_

_Damn…being a CIA agent and finding out your boyfriend is an evil counter government agent…and Simon though HE was having a rough day._

Simon sighed, giving an empathetic look,

"I'm sorry Alec."

He shrugged,

"Why? You're not the one who did it." he trailed off, shaking his head, squaring his shoulders, looking back at Simon, instantly all business,

"We found the device he used, smashed, but techs were able to recover the information. He sent the program to you…I don't know why. Maybe he clicked on the wrong email, maybe it was just a desperate panicked last act. I don't know. But he sent it to you. The device was linked to a similar one in the possession of The Collective- it just showed the actions of the device, similar to a program that monitors keystrokes. They couldn't retrieve the information but they could see he had sent a copy of it.

That's how they found you." He shrugged,

"Up till now I assumed you must have been a contact he felt he could trust. Figured you were brokering a deal for his safety. I thought maybe you could get a hold of him…

We need to find him before they do. I wanted to get a message to him, get him to turn himself in. I know if I could just talk to him I could get through but I can't do that if I can't find him."

Simon shook his head,

"I wish I could help dude, but like I said I haven't talked to him in nearly a decade…I have no idea why he'd send the information to me. It had to of just been an accident…

I really am sorry about your boyfriend though."

Alec startled, shaking his head quickly,

"What?! No…no, no no…_**Brother**_. Jace is my little brother."

"Oh! Sorry that…well…that's actually way worse…damn talk about a crappy day."

Alec scoffed, nodding,

"Oh yeah…you have no idea…" he shrugged,

"Look Simon, I don't know what he was thinking…hell I never do…_clearly_. I had no clue he was working for The Collective until yesterday when I saw the video. I'm sorry you got roped into this, we'll get this sorted. First things first though we need to get the program back, we really can't risk it falling into the wrong hands.

That's why they broke into your place; clearly they didn't find it, which is why they were still following you, maybe they thought the same thing I did- that you were handing it off to someone, or you had a way to find Jace. You'd said your computer was broken this morning, when you tried to open the download it probably corrupted it, where is it?"

Simon shrugged,

"It's at the store- hoped I'd get a chance to work on it…really can't afford to buy a new one."

Alec nodded, giving a slight shrug,

"Don't think you'll have to worry much about that. We'll probably have to confiscate it, just to be sure we got the entire program and that there are no other copies…I'm sure we can provide you with a new one."

Simon set up a bit,

"Really? Well…I guess so far as silver linings go a new computer's a decent one. I mean probably not worth the whole terrifying high speed chase, break in, evil Agency after me, video game induced seizure type thing…but at least it's not a total loss."

Alec laughed,

"That's one way to look at it, and an-…wait…video game induced seizure?" he sobered, looking over at Simon in concern,

Simon shrugged,

"Yeah well that's the only thing I can think of. Though a secret government program thing does make more sense. I don't know…and wow am I saying that a lot today. Anyways all I do know is I opened Jace's email yesterday when I got home from work, at like six. I remember there was a lot of colors and flashing lights and images…but then it's a total blank from then till my alarm went off this morning at 8. Maybe it was like a built in security thing or something?" He glanced over at Alec, beginning to shrug before freezing,

He looked shocked…and vaguely terrified,

This dude wasn't even freaked while being shot at during a high speed chase…

_Well crap…_

_That's not good…_

Simon swallowed nervously,

"Umm…Alec? I-is something wrong?"

Alec swallowed, shakily nodding, pulling the car off onto a side street, down an alleyway, putting it in park. He reached into his pocket, fumbling out his phone, glancing worriedly back at Simon, hitting a button, listening to the ring. Simon heard the ring stop the beginnings of a voice, Alec cut him off,

"Luke no time…we have a problem. The program ran successfully…i-it worked…we have a functioning intersect."

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _End Of Chapter Notes_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

I know it's a kind of abrupt cut off but I think it's the best place to stop. Trust me the next part with get moving pretty quickly. Simon might even get a few answers…and a LOT more questions…

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

*** 22 ***


	4. Chapter 4- Phoenix

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

_**Chapter 4:**_

_**Phoenix**_

_**Chapter Complete!**_

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

_Umm…_

_Well…that doesn't sound good._

He had no clue what the hell an 'Intersect' was or what it had to do with him or the whole video game induced seizure thing, but if a guy totally comfortable in a bullet infused high speed chase is freaked out by it that is definitely not a good thing.

Simon swallowed, looking over at Alec who'd by this time finished his conversation and was sitting looking almost at a loss. Simon had kind of got lost in the conversation between Alec and some guy named Luke. It seemed like a bunch of complicated tech jargon and usually that'd be right in his wheelhouse but he just couldn't follow along with this. It was techy type stuff but mixed with spy kind of things, rapid fire code names and quick back and forth. It was like on a whole different level.

He got that it was bad, that it's something that hadn't ever happened before. He got that it seemed something they didn't even think was possible at this point _(Which was SO not comforting). _From what he heard this 'Luke' dude was contacting NSA as this program Jace had sent him was some kind of big time joint task force project kind of thing between the two agencies. Alec seemed kind of alarmed about calling them in- especially when Luke mentioned the codename of the agent working the NSA's side of the case. Alec almost seemed more worried than he did when he heard the whole 'intersect' thing, clearly trying to talk Luke out of it but to no avail.

Simon had no clue who this 'Phoenix' person was but he really didn't think he'd ever want to meet them.

Simon took a deep breath, swallowing again, trying to calm himself as much as possible, looking over at Alec,

"A-Alec…what's going on?"

He almost seemed to startle, clearly totally lost in thought. Alec sighed, rubbing at his face, before turning towards Simon. He met his eyes, gaze worried, near apologetic, shaking his head faintly.

_Oooh…crap…that SO did not bode well…._

He fidgeted slightly seemingly at a loss as to how to begin; Simon flailed, shaking his head,

"Dude! Come on; you gotta give me something here. My brain's spinning out of control. I'm going in circles with the craziest theories imaginable. Whatever it is it probably couldn't be crazier than what I'm thinking."

Alec gave a slightly huffing almost laugh, quickly shaking his head, brushing his hair back,

"Don't be so sure." He trailed off, shaking his head again, groaning, with a near flailing wave,

"Okay, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it; this is bad. It's insane and totally unprecedented and a whole host of other things. T…this is gonna totally change your entire life. It's going to be complicated and absurdly dangerous and confusing and I really don't know any way to make it any better- I can't, and I really am genuinely sorry." He paused, shaking his head, meeting Simon's gaze again.

"I don't know why Jace sent the program. I don't know if it was an accident, a mix-up or just the Jace special- near delusional belief he can do no wrong and it'll all work out- but whatever it is I am truly sorry you're gonna have to face this. It's not fair, it's not right and you should have never been put in this position…"

Simon swallowed, blinking rapidly, trying his best to stay calm but not one part of that was in any way whatsoever comforting.

"A-Alec? Come on, I need _details_ here, cause I got nothing- except that this is gonna totally suck."

Alec gave a surprised laugh in spite of the situation, nodding quickly,

"Oh yeah, no question." he groaned, shaking his head, brushing his hair back once again, looking back over at Simon.

"Okay, here goes. So the program Jace sent you? It's a very new, cutting edge program that's very much in the testing phase…it's actually never been ran successfully. There's been trials but…but they have not turned out well. It's called the Human Tactical Perception Gateway- HTPC for short. The program was a joint project between the CIA and NSA, a way to quickly and efficiently train new recruits.

See the Idea behind it is to find a way to give the recruits instant access to all the tactical and intelligence knowledge they'd ever need instantly. They would have all information on weapons, a multitude of styles of combat training, as well as the combined intelligence gathered by both agencies. All of it instantaneously accessible. It would revolutionize the training process, allow the recruits to gain knowledge and skills that generally take years- decades even- in less than a day."

Simon blinked, tilting his head in confusion,

"L-Like…a cheat code?"

Alec quirked his eyebrow, nodding faintly,

"Actually that's a pretty apt description. It seemed farfetched but we were getting close, though it was still very much just in the trial phase- as I said there have been trials but they were very much unsuccessful. We thought we were still years away from an actual viable, successful Intersect- the term used for the recruits participating in the program.

At least we _thought_ it would be years." He paused, looking over pointedly at Simon,

He blinked, shaking his head slowly before it clicked. He froze,

"Umm…w-wait…w…umm…me?"

Alec tilted his head in acknowledgement,

Simon shook his head quickly, flailing,

"What!? No…no way! I…that's gotta be wrong. I'm not…I don't have all that! I'm not a freaking superspy recruit- _I have no stealth! _Like none whatsoever. Dude, I'm a flailing, panicky nerdhearder who talks way too much! The only 'super' ability I have is to be able to actually trip while standing completely still! I'm SO not spy material!

You have to have read this wrong- the program ran but no way it was a success…I mean I don't feel any different- I don't have super spy knowledge and tactical training. You have to be wrong. Maybe the program malfunctioned or something- it was like one of those failed test things…

That has to be it."

Alec sighed, shaking his head,

"No Simon, it's not. Maybe it takes a bit for it to kick in, or maybe it's situation based- I think that's what the initial goal always was. It really wouldn't do to just have all the knowledge forefront in their minds all the time- it'd be totally maddening."

Simon flailed again shaking his head

"But how can you know it worked? I mean there's no sign it did."

Alec nodded,

"Yeah there is…"

"What?" Simon asked giving a flippant wave, kind of wild eyed.

He sighed, looking up at Simon,

"You're alive, not comatose and still totally able to function. That is a success."

Simon froze, swallowing, paling slightly,

"Umm…w-what?"

Alec shook his head,

"The tests I mentioned? 'Unsuccessful' was a major understatement. One person died, three were left comatose and five others their minds totally broke- remember what I said about the info being situation based? That much knowledge being just too much for someone to process at once? Well it is…far too much.

You said about the program running, and from what you said that's how it starts…that's what it looked like in all the test phases. The difference is you woke up, went to work, got on with your life-

That is totally unprecedented."

Simon gulped, eyes wide,

"O-okay…umm…so…that's good but how do you know it worked? I mean really?"

He shrugged,

"I don't definitively, but from what you said about the 'videogame' seizure and all of that it's the most likely outcome. We'll have to have you checked out and there's no way you won't be monitored- if the program was a success that's a lot of VERY classified information you have access to…

Honestly there's no way you're not gonna be pretty heavily monitored for quite a while. You'll probably go though tests to see how successful it was, probably be put into some actual training, just to help it along, and begin actual espionage training. Like I said I really am sorry about all this."

Simon blinked uncomprehendingly,

"W-wait…but…I…that's just…so, what I don't have a say in this? I'm just like all of a sudden a spy?"

Alec gave a faintly guilty shrug,

"Yeah…pretty much. I mean once we find out how the program worked, why it worked for you and if we can find a way to remove it there is a possibility you'd eventually be out of it, but that's not gonna be for quite a while. There really is no other way this can play out. Right now so far as both the CIA and NSA is concerned you're a civilian with access to every last bit of information we possess, that is insanely dangerous, and no one's just gonna let it go, it's just not going to happen." He swallowed, shrugging,

"Honestly you should be happy it was me who made the initial contact with you and not the NSA agent they're putting on the case."

Simon looked over,

"Phoenix? That's what you said on the phone right? You seemed kinda freaked about it."

Alec sighed, nodding,

"That's because I am. I have never wanted to work anywhere near this guy. He's one of their best- arguably one of the best agents there are. His closure rate is beyond reproach and he has multiple accommodations…but…but he is not someone anyone really wants to have a run in with. At All…He makes even the directors twitchy.

He's the most dangerous agent they have. He is a trained killer- and the man is good at his job. He doesn't seem to have any issue with it- whatsoever. This is NOT a person you want to screw with.

And this is the guy now working the case…looking for my brother. I know Jace is a traitor, I don't know what happened or how he got involved in this, but if this guy finds him first I'll never get a chance to find out.

This man is ruthless and utterly terrifying…and apparently we are going to be working with him.

I'm usually pretty level headed but with this guy? I-I really don't know how this is gonna play out. I've never worked with him- I don't know anyone who has. I didn't even think he'd work a 'joint mission'. As far as I know he always works alone. He's usually very secretive- I know next to nothing about him and what I do know is terrifying. I don't know why he's on this mission but I'd assume it's to track down and in all likelihood eliminate a threat to national security.

Meaning my brother…

And possibly you."

Simon startled, flailing,

"_WHAT!?_ Wait, no way, no _freaking_ way. Jace I get- no offense dude, he's your brother I feel for you, I really do- but I get that, I don't agree with it, but I get it…but ME? I'm not a 'national security threat'! I'm no threat whatsoever! Like literally, look at me! I'm a clumsy, flaily, chattery nerdhearder. When I thought someone broke into my place I searched it while holding a freaking light saber!

I am no threat to anything or anyone.

Absolutely none.

Why the hell would this Phoenix guy think I was?"

Alec shook his head, shrugging,

"Look, I'm sorry; I can't even imagine how insane and impossible this seems but the program was a joint mission- meaning the NSA gets a say in it too. If the program worked that means you have nearly every bit of classified knowledge of both agencies. That's a huge security breach and could very well be deemed a threat to national security.

I know how insane this is, and once again I am so sorry for this. You have no idea how bad I feel about you having to face this…I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I don't see a way out of it." He sighed, looking up, meeting Simon's eyes. He reached over, hesitantly resting his hand on Simon's shoulder,

"I know this seems insane and there's no way I can just make it 'okay' but I promise I'll be with you on it the whole way. I'll do everything I can to help you with it, I promise,

Okay?"

Simon gave a slightly defeated shrug,

"Kinda has to be, doesn't it?"

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_

_Okay…seriously…No way this is real...There's no way…_

_It's a dream, right?_

_A Hallucination maybe?_

_He was slipped something?_

_**Come on, give him something…ANYTHING….**_

_There HAS to be some kind of reasonable explanation._

He'll take any alternative at this point…

No way in hell this is real.

He's a freaking national security threat? HIM? Simon Lewis?

Some terrifyingly skilled government NSA Assassin- who scares a dude whose totally unphased by car chases and bullets- may think he- _Simon Freaking Lewis_\- poses an actionable threat to this country?

_**What?**_

And now he's gonna just suddenly be a spy _(Not 'gets' to be a spy- HAS to be a spy…is being all but forced into it). _He has people who genuinely want him dead? Like for real… Not just like petty, whiny jackasses online who are pissed he beat them at a game or whatever but real, actual people who want him dead and are totally okay making that happen?

He's being hunted by a shady, evil organization?

He has a government cheat code in his head that will give him combat styles and training, knowledge of weapons (_**real**_ weapons not light sabers and Bat'leth's but real ACTUAL weapons that exist outside of scifi movies and TV shows.) He'll have access to government secrets…like ALL the government secrets…

_Hey…does this mean he knows the truth about Area 51?_

_Oh my god…he is SO the wrong dude for this!_

He groaned faintly, dropping his head into his hands, rubbing his face. Alec tilted his head, glancing over curiously,

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get myself to wake up from this crazy ass dream or hallucination or trip or whatever it is…there is no way this is real…"

Alec sighed, shaking his head, scooting a little closer,

"Simon I'm sorry but it is real. This is happening. You can't just 'wake up' from reality."

Simon lifted his head from his hands, looking over at Alec, quirking his eyebrow.

"That is exactly what a hallucination would say."

In spite of the gravity of the situation Alec can't help a slight chuckle at that. Simon glared; Alec put his hands up placatingly,

"I'm sorry that wasn't intentional…"

He huffed,

"Well I'm glad you find this so damn entertaining cause I'm at a point where I'm actually rooting for this to be just a nice mental break or drugging because that's far less terrifying than me suddenly being a government science experiment gone awry/ Agent in training all because of me opening an unknown download! And I keep coming back to that because it is literally the only part of this that I even remotely understand and even that's off. Like, I knew they were a real pain; could fry your computer, give your _computer_ viruses whatever else but how the hell do I download the only computer virus ever created that actually affects humans!?

Like how is that even a thing?

_And I work in computer repair!_ HALF my damn job is spent rolling my eyes at people for being so stupid as to open a suspicious download. And I do and it is SO much worse than what I thought the worst case scenario is and I…I just don't know how to even process this.

I can't be a spy!

I'm a freaking computer geek working a normal tech support job. I am the absolute worst possible person for this. I have no 'spy' abilities whatsoever. I'm not 'sneaky', I'm way too loud, way too hyper, WAY too clumsy, I never know when to shut up and even when I manage to figure it out- usually way too late- I STILL can't stop talking! I just panic and talk even more!

You're saying I'm gonna be a spy, that I'm gonna go into training and all of that other crap…

I'm telling you right now- you send me out on a spy mission I'll end up dead and the rest of you are all gonna be screwed. And oh my god I know how that sounds but I swear that's not a threat! I'm not like evil or a traitor or a coward or whatever I just know myself and I am SO not the person to be trusted with all of this stuff…

I'm just not."

Alec sighed, giving a faint nod,

"Simon, I understand, I really do. This has got to be the most crazy, terrifying, insanity inducing day of your entire life. It is an absurd amount of new information to process, a complete change to your entire life- your entire world view. I know it seems totally overwhelming…I-I really can't even imagine how crazy and terrifying this all seems.

I mean I chose this line of work and it still seems crazy, I can't imagine being all but forced into this, and again if there was any way I could fix this for you I would, I really would, in a heartbeat. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. But it is real, it is happening and you WILL have to face it.

It's not fair, it's not right, but that's just the way it is."

Simon groaned, leaning his head back against the headrest. He swallowed a couple times, giving a slight nod,

"I know that but this is flat out insane. And that's just this 'The Collective', accidental intersect thing. That's not even getting to this 'Phoenix' dude...seriously I don't know how to interact with an actual freaking killer! Government sanctioned or not. I mean the closest I have to compare that to is like, video game characters- and even the people who get too into that I end up side eyeing… someone who is like that in real life?

I-I just don't even know how to process this.

For god's sakes, the dude scares YOU!"

Alec shook his head,

"I wouldn't s-"

Simon cut him off with a sharp, mirthless, almost laugh,

"Oh dude don't even try that. I was right here when you got the call- you were freaked…totally shook. And you're someone who was totally unphased by being shot at during a high speed chase."

Alec tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"O-okay, true…it kinda threw me. But that wasn't about you, or even the prospect of working with the man- something I never even thought was a possibility as I was under the impression he only ever worked alone. It was about this guy being the one set on catching my brother.

I know I said he may see you as a threat to national security- and he might- but he _**definitely**_ sees Jace as one, and that absolutely terrifies me." he sighed, swallowing, looking over at Simon, meeting his gaze,

"Look Simon, I'm sorry if I scared you-I wasn't trying to. I just wanted you to know it was a possibility- a worst case scenario kind of thing. The man is said to be a lot of things, but he's not some unhinged sociopath who goes after anyone and everyone. He doesn't go after innocents, especially those just caught in the crossfire- and unless I've totally read this wrong and you're one hell of an actor, that's you, all the way.

You had no clue what you were getting into here- it was a total mistake, and he will see that and take it into account. I'm not saying he's absolutely no threat to you- if he's genuinely convinced you're a dangerous threat to national security then yeah, it would be bad. But at this point I just really don't see that happening.

I think so far as he's concerned you're safe- probably even a victim in all of this- and honestly if you have him looking out for you the members of The Collective are the ones who should be worried. You should be fine so far as he's concerned…

My little brother not so much.

And I just really don't know how to process that. I mean I know what Jace did was wrong, I know he screwed up majorly. But I don't know why, I have no clue how he could do this…_**why**_ he would do this, and if this guy finds him before I do I will never know the truth.

I will never know the truth and I will lose him forever… and that absolutely terrifies me.

Jace is a lot of things but above all else he's my little brother. My parents adopted him when he was four. Even though he was nearly five years younger than me he was still my best friend growing up, we told each other everything…And the idea of losing him…

Not just losing him but him being taken out by what is essentially a colleague of mine because he was a traitor to our country- to the government- a government I've spent more than a decade working for-trying to protect? It's just…I-I can't even begin to comprehend that.

I _just_ saw the video of this yesterday!

I've had less than a day to process all of this- I had dinner with him just last week and everything seemed perfectly fine. He was his same old funny, kind of juvenile, overly cocky self. Then less than a day ago I find out he's a traitor, a counter agent, for all intents and purposes my enemy and now one of the most terrifying agents I've ever heard of is working a case to track him down…

And the guy is not known for how many targets he's brought in, he's known for how many he's brought _down_…

And I know this is a lot to lay on you as you already have WAY too much to deal with with all of this and I doubt it helps in any way; but for what it's worth this is pretty much the most crazy, terrifying, insanity inducing day of my entire life too, so at least there's that."

Simon blinked a couple times before giving a surprised huff of a laugh, glancing over, shrugging.

"Actually it does kind of help…in a 'misery loves company' kinda way."

Alec chuckled, shrugging back,

"Well good…I guess."

They sat for a few moments in companionable silence, just trying to take in everything, to wrap their heads around the sheer insanity of all of this. Finally Simon took a deep breath, glancing over at him again with a hopeless, slightly lost shrug,

"So…like…how do we even start on this? I know this is a tangled mess of insanity and it'd probably work better to just break it down into little bite sized insanity pieces and just try to chip away at the overall insanity ' thing' like that…but like, I-I don't even know where that starting point would be…

Any ideas?"

Alec gave a faint huff of a laugh and a flippant wave of his hand,

"I really don't know. I mean I'm an agent, I have a lot of experience in this kind of thing but at the same time this whole intersect business is completely unprecedented. I'm thinking first step would be to get you back to HQ, checked in and checked out by the CIA scientists, make sure there aren't any complications from the program, then we can just kind of go from there."

Simon nodded,

"Okay that sounds g-"

He's cut off by the sound of tires squealing, the black sedan roaring up the alleyway in front of them, behind them more squealing tires as a black van whips around the corner, taking position behind them, effectively cutting off both entrances.

Alec startled, glancing from the windshield back over his shoulder and back again.

The four men get out of the sedan, beginning to advance, weapons at the ready. The doors of the van open, six more people emerging, all heavily armed fanning out across the alley moving towards their car, weapons drawn.

Alec reaches for his phone, hitting the call button.

"Luk-" that's all Alec gets out before the phone disconnects, The lights and sensors in the car flash, before going dark. They both look up in confusion, spotting the Man in the center of the group from the van. He isn't holding a gun anymore, rather an odd device; it almost looks like a remote. He smirks, kind of waving it back and forth.

"Damnit! An EMP Device!" Alec exclaims shaking his head, looking over at Simon,

"That's a-"

Simon flailed, head whipping around frantically between the two groups before settling back on Alec.

"_Alec_; I'm a tech geek and a nerd who does computer repair; I know what a freaking EMP device is! What do we do!?"

He swallowed, eyes wide, shaking his head slightly,

"I-I don't know Simon- the car's bullet proof but even that has its limits, it can only take so much and that's a hell of fire power. The cars dead, I have a gun and enough bullets, but if I can get them they can get me…and there's a hell of a lot more of them than me…

W-we're sitting ducks…

I don't know how we can get out of this…

I just don't know."

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _End Of Chapter Notes…_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

Dun, Dun, Dun!

Okay I know Cliff hanger…sorry, but it's where I have to stop…

Promise it'll be worth it.

So what do you guys think so far?

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

*** 17 ***


	5. Chapter 5-Hell Of A First Impression…

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

_**Chapter 5:**_

_**Hell Of A First Impression…**_

_Chapter Complete!__*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

_Oh my god…_

_Oh my god…What are they gonna do?_

_**What are they gonna DO?!**_

_They're surrounded! By criminals! __**Heavily**__ armed criminals. There are TEN of them surrounding the car, all armed. The car is immobilized, electronics totally disabled by an EMP device. Phones are dead, no chance of calling for help, no way to make a run for it._

_No way out…_

_None._

_Oh god…_

This day was insane and crazy and some horrible fever induced nightmare of insanity. Part of him wondered when Alec was explaining about the intersect if maybe his brain DID in fact break from the program, if maybe he had lost it and this was all actually just some crazy, computer induced hallucination. If maybe he's just imagining all this while he was actually still lying safely comatose in his living room. It seemed crazy and unbelievably farfetched…but hell, no more so than him suddenly being a super spy recruit with a head full of government cheat codes…

Compared to that video game induced coma sounded downright plausible…

Now He is trapped in a car, cut off from any and all outside help, with ten heavily armed criminals surrounding the car, advancing on them, and there is not one damn thing he or Alec can do.

There are no moves, no tricks, no last stitch twists to save them.

They are done.

His 'spy career' lasted a grand total of one hour and ten minutes.

_Damn even he thought he'd make it further than that._

Oh man…

_Come on computer induced coma…_

Alec moved closer, squeezing his shoulder, meeting his eyes, gaze fearful but determined,

"Simon try to duck down- the body of the car's most heavily armed; it'll be harder for them to get through. The call connected with Luke, it _**is **_possible he'll send some help but I'm not gonna lie, it's a long shot, still we can't just give up."

Simon swallowed, nodding, shifting off the seat, slipping down, looking over at Alec, nodding to the other side,

"A-Aren't you gonna move down too?"

Alec shook his head, shifting closer towards Simon,

"No, I'm gonna try to keep their focus on me. When they get close enough I'll try to keep them busy, keep them talking, try to buy us some time. Maybe I can convince them it was just a mistake or that we beat them to the program, already got it and you knew nothing about it. Simon, I'll try to hold them off as long as I can but under no circumstances can they find out you might be a functioning intersect..." He shifted closer, eyes wide and urgent, swallowing, shaking his head,

"I-if that happens….I… Simon, I know this seems like the worst case scenario, but trust me it's not. That? The Collective finding out? _That_ would be, do you understand?"

Simon swallowed, taking a shuttering breath, nodding. Alec nodded back, reaching over, squeezing his shoulder again, gaze flickering from Simon back to the people advancing on the car. He reached under the seat, retrieving a gun, setting it on the seat, pointedly meeting Simon's eyes. They startle at a light metallic tapping at the window, looking up. Simon freezes, blood running cold.

The driver of the sedan is RIGHT there, flanked by the others. He's a tall, beefy looking man with a ruddy complexion and flat grey eyes. He's giving them a crooked, macabre grin, there's something in those grey eyes- there's no emotion, no depth- it's like looking into the eyes of a shark. There's a darkness there the likes of which Simon has never seen, like nothing he's ever imagined in a human being. He shakes his head faintly once again, tapping the muzzle of the gun against the window, creating that terrifying metallic sound.

Oh god…

Alec shifted closer positioning his body over Simon, trying to shield him. Simon heard a cold, metallic click, he squeaked, shifting further down, ducking his head, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to brace as best he could.

_Oh god…this is it…this is it…_

_He's gonna die…_

_He's g-_

There's an odd, hollow 'thwack' type noise and Simon hears the sound of something heavy hitting the pavement. He hears a flurry of commotion outside, interspersed with shouting. Simon chances looking up, the grey eyed man is nowhere in sight and the criminals he does see are no longer focused on the car.

They're turning wildly, looking at windows and rooftops, guns drawn, seemingly near panicked. The thwack sound comes five more times in rapid succession, five of the people surrounding the car drop like stones out of Simon's line of sight. There doesn't seem to be a pattern to those that fall, the two that were flanking grey eyes, one near the bumper of the car, one by the headlight and one near the driver's side window. The remaining four look around, eyes wide Simon can see a dawning fear coming over their faces, they move together, back to back, trying to cover each other, pulling away from the car, drifting back towards the van, vigilantly scanning the rooftops.

There's a peppering of shots between them and the van. They freeze, clearly not sure what way to go. The man on the right suddenly tenses, gun rising so fast it's but a blur, it's still nowhere near fast enough. The man's dropped, he collapses back onto the others, the others faltering against his weight, trying to keep their footing.

There's a glimpse of movement on the fire escape near one of the roofs, a man slinking silently into full view. His movements are relaxed, graceful, thoroughly in control. His impossibly dark eyes slip over the scene, settling on the trio of remaining gunmen, a bright, near excited spark in the dark depths, gaze going sharp and hard, laser focused. He shifts, head tilting slowly, the move oddly chilling, almost animalistic, a sharp, deadly smirk flickering over his lips, eyebrow quirking in challenge, practically daring them to make a move.

Simon gulped

_Damn…that is __**so**__…_

_Oh dude seriously? No. No way in hell. We are SO not going there. Like you don't have enough insanity to deal with today?_

_**No.**_

_Chalk it up to an adrenalin rush and temporary insanity stemming from a near death experience and move on._

The Collective agents visibly paled, apparently recognizing the man. They practically threw down their weapons, standing stock still, hands out, clearly visible. He gave a slight chuckle, shrugging casually, widening his eyes, giving a faint nod. They move quickly, laying face down on the ground, putting their hands behind their back. The dark eyed man shifted, slipping the gun into a holster, leaping over the edge of the fire escape, catching on the next level, slipping down, making it to the ground in a matter of seconds. He strode across the alleyway pulling out what appeared to be zip-ties, quickly fastening the counter agents hands behind their back. He turned from them, making his way over to the car, pausing quirking his eyebrow,

"Alright Boyscout, you can come out now…funs over."

Beside Simon Alec tensed, shifting, giving a slightly aggravated sigh, he tilted his head,

"Let me guess, Phoenix?"

The guy chuckled, giving a dismissive shrug,

"Yes…though you may as well just call me Raphael- seems pretty appropriate as we are to be partners for the foreseeable future."

It was Alec's turn to gulp, blinking, paling noticeably,

Simon was right there with him…

_"**P-Partners?"**_

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

_Partners?_

_PARTNERS?!_

_Oooh….crap…_

_And yeah, he's had that thought more times today than literally every other day of his entire life…combined…probably multiplied…_

_Still…_

_Oh Crap._

Alec said they'd be working together…kay, fine whatever. Terrifying government killer was gonna be looking over what they were doing, maybe expecting reports trying to find a lead on Jace. Terrifying but…okay…he could deal with that.

It's a joint task force and the way Alec talked the agencies didn't always play well with each other. It stood to reason the NSA would want their own eyes on him. He got that this was big, unprecedented, all of that. But Alec was surprised the guy agreed to work _any_ part of a joint mission- the way he talked the guy was the text book definition of a lone wolf. If that's the case they figured his involvement would be minimal at best…

'Partners' is NOT minimal.

_Partners is like the opposite of minimal._

Alec shifted forward, shaking his head faintly,

"Y-you…I'm sorry I don't think I understand. When you say 'Partners' what exactly do you mean?"

Raphael quirked his eyebrow, smirking,

"Well it's pretty self explanatory… though I realize there are two ways the term's 'partner' is generally used I would think it goes without saying it's the professional type, not romantic…one, we literally just met and two, no offense Boyscout but you are _**really**_ not my type."

Alec huffed faintly, rolling his eyes, giving a sarcastic look,

"I'm heartbroken…I mean what makes you think we're gonna be 'partners' here? It's a joint task force but that doesn't mean we're automatically equals on this one. The information stolen was kept in a CIA facility, you guys will have access to the Intel gathered but it's ultimately a CIA case."

Raphael shrugged,

"It was…and it would probably have remained so…except for a few key details. It is now a joint mission- we will be equally involved in all parts of the case from here on out, it's already decided."

Alec tensed,

"What 'key' details?"

Raphael quirked his eyebrow challengingly, ticking them off on his fingers,

"Hmm…well…let's see; One, the Counter Agent responsible is related to a CIA operative, Two, said CIA operative is the agent now oh so conveniently assigned the case, And Three there is now possibly a working, functioning intersect…something that you failed to inform the NSA….

In truth the only reason you're still on the case is because he seems to find you a calming presence and keeping him from panicking in this situation is more important than the challenges you could constitute." He paused, dark gaze shifting from Alec down to Simon who's still kinda hunched near the floorboard.

He tilted his head, giving a slight, near gentle smile,

"Hi…"

Simon swallowed,

"H-hello."

_Oh…wow…_

Damnit he's even better looking close up.

The man is easily the most beautiful person Simon has ever seen, features sharp and striking, dark perfectly styled hair, impossibly deep brown eyes that this close make Simon a bit giddy and breathless,

"Do you guys just raid modeling agencies for new recruit or something?" Simon thinks.

Raphael blinks in surprise, giving a slight laugh,

_Oops…didn't just think that._

Raphael shakes his head, flashing a quick, near playful smirk, leaning in through the window, breathtakingly pretty deep eyes sparking impishly,

"No…it's more of a pageant kinda thing. You should see the talent competition,

Hell of a show."

Simon startles, flailing slightly, bursting out in near giggling laughter.

"Oh my god…the terrifying, intimidating, stupidly attractive freaking government assassin who scares criminals and actual government agents alike is actually funny…what the hell…

Can't even ONE tiny part of the insanity of this day make sense?"

Alec shifts closer, resting his hand on Simon's shoulder, giving him a concerned look, 'Phoenix' drama momentarily forgotten,

"Simon, are you alright?"

Simon flails,

"_Are you kidding me?!_ I was just shot at! Like, a lot! I just saw seven people die and three others throw down their weapons and hit the dirt so fast it's a wonder they didn't sprain something all because of a stupidly attractive guy who subdued them with a cocky smirk and an eyebrow raise then proceeded to climb down the building like a better coordinated Spiderman! Then smiles and jokes like it's nothing- because apparently to you people it IS nothing…

But to me it is.

_This is freaking insanity! _

My options with today are either I've been drugged and am hallucinating this, I'm actually comatose on my couch, once again, hallucinating this, or it's all actually real and I'm a freaking accidental government experiment/ laughably underqualified spy in training.

Do you know how messed up it is to be ROOTING for this to be a nice simple drugging?

How the hell is THAT the best case scenario?

I have an experimental computer program downloaded into my head, my house was broken into, I was in a car chase, and…just because it bears repeating- I was SHOT at. I was huddled on a floorboard looking dead in the eye at someone who _**literally**_ wanted me dead. I heard the gun click- I was freaking SECONDS away from being killed…

No Alec. No, I am not 'alright'.

Not even close." Simon trailed off, rubbing at his face, groaning, trying to get his breathing under control and get his hands to stop trembling,

"Well…that was wordy and overdramatic."

Simon stilled, lifting his head out of his hands, looking up at the man.

"Excuse me?"

Raphael gave a rather flippant wave, leaning against the car door,

"I'm just saying a simple 'no' would have sufficed."

Simon blinked at the sheer audacity and total disregard, shifting off the floorboard onto the seat, glaring, giving a flippantly sarcastic wave of his own,

"Oh I'm sorry, am I being overdramatic? Am I talking too much? Am I getting too animated? Well guess what dude that's pretty much par for the course with me so you might as well get used to it.

Not all of us are over the top action hero types with great reflexes and a dashing smirk. I am like this ALL the time; I flail and stumble and trip and get overly excited by stupid things and yammer uncontrollably about shows and games and other totally random things that no one really cares about outside of Comic Con and can't shut up even when I want to.

I am annoying and loud and _**completely**_ uncoordinated and now cause you are just so damned determined to work this case and freak out poor Alec there just for not calling your bosses and giving them a heads up during said high speed chase and ensuing freak out you're stuck with it…So ha…

What do you have to say to that, huh smirky?"

Raphael and Alec blinked,

Simon paused, words running back through his brain…

As well as the knowledge of exactly who he all but shouted that too…

_Oh good god…_

_Is it too late to plead insanity?_

Simon groaned, shaking his head, covering his eyes,

"Ugh, just shoot me…" Simon muttered before flailing, holding his hand up, pointing at Raphael,

"Wait- I don't mean that literally…and oh good god that's a thing I'm never saying again."

"T-the 'shoot me' part, the loudly listing every personal flaw, the yelling at a government assassin, or the calling said government assassin 'Smirky'?"

Simon shook his head, waving animatedly towards Raphael, eyes still covered,

"All of the above."

Simon startles at a bright, warm burst of laughter, blinking looking over at Raphael in surprise. The man's nearly shaking with laughter, very nearly doubled over, leaning against the window to keep his balance. Simon glanced over at Alec who seemed just as confused as he did…

_Well…that was almost comforting._

Raphael took a deep breath, clearly trying to get the laughter under control, shaking his head once more, flashing a brilliant, surprisingly warm smile Simon's way, deep eyes near dancing with laughter.

"Oh mi Dios eres demaciado lindo... nadie debe ser encantador que mientras alguien grita?" he breathed, still chuckling faintly,

Simon swallowed,

_Wow…he was even more beautiful when he smiled like that…_

_He'd kinda like to see that again,_

Also he had no idea what he said- though he was fairly certain with the laughing it wasn't something very nice, but it sure sounded pretty.

_Yeah…that smile was gonna make it a whole lot harder to stay annoyed at the man._

_Crap…_

_Again…_

Raphael finally seemed to get his laughter under control, swallowing, flashing one more brilliant, thoroughly disarming smile, giving a bit of a shrug.

"Well Simon I must admit if anything it seems it will be rather interesting working with you."

Simon glanced out the window at the scattered Collective agents littering the alleyway, he swallowed,

"Aaand it's gonna be completely terrifying working with you."

Alec shifted forward a bit closer to Simon's side, resting his hand on his shoulder rather protectively,

"Yeah about that, I don't really know that a partner type mission is called for here. I mean we can keep you informed and all of that but this is a lot and Simon's been through a crazy amount on this already. He probably doesn't need any more undue stress…which…is kinda what you're known for."

Raphael flashes a sharp smirk, eyes flickering, the glimmer of humor turning into something sharp and dangerous,

"No…I am actually known for _eliminating_ undue stress. Particularly the kind caused by nuisances. Though I can understand the confusion as you are a bit too close to one such irritant."

Alec stilled, eyes flashing angrily,

"Hey now t-"

"Come off it Lightwood- your brother's a traitor- I'm not insulting or disparaging his 'good' name, I am stating a fact. I get that it hurts and you don't know why he did this or how you didn't see or any of that- but that is irrelevant.

He did it, we saw it, we have video proof of it. I'm sure when we find him he'll have some sob story to explain it away-to take the blame off of him, make it so it was his only choice, his only option…they always do…

And unfortunately I'll have to actually listen to it."

Alec seemed to startle at that,

"W-wait…you're hearing him out?"

Raphael shrugged, giving an agitated sigh,

"Unfortunately those are my orders. He to be apprehended alive and unharmed and brought in for questioning."

Alec breathed a sigh of relief, slumping in the seat a bit.

"Thank you."

Raphael shook his head,

"Don't thank me…it's not a mercy, it's business. He's no use to us dead and quite frankly he's not enough of a threat to warrant a kill order…if we wanted him dead we'd just leave him to his Collective cohorts.

They want him dead because they know what we know. Jace is a weak link- he'll be easy to flip and a ready source of information on The Collective.

He's a foot soldier, leverage, bait…

Which is exactly what we need to bring down the actual players in The Collective. This is far bigger than one blond idiot wannabe villain…

He can lead us to the actual threats."

Alec prickled at that, but still shook his head,

"You know what, I don't care…one of the most highly decorated assassins working for our government isn't planning on killing my brother, I'm counting it a win, I'll take what I can get." He paused glancing over at Simon, giving a faint shrug,

"I know this seems crazy but really I don't know if it's any crazier than the rest of today and I got the feeling we don't actually have much of a say so far as this part is concerned."

Simon sighed, shrugging, looking over at Raphael,

"Well…gotta admit I'd much rather be working with him than against him..."

Raphael chuckled, smirking,

"Smart…"

Alec nodded faintly, glancing over at Raphael,

"So… Before the trap/ EMP device thing we were planning on taking Simon into HQ to get checked out to be sure there aren't any undue effects. While he's being checked maybe we can coordinate our investigations, see if there are any leads on Jace…I'm sure you guys have leads you haven't shared, and there's probably some Intel that hasn't made it over from our side yet too. It might help to compare notes."

Raphael shrugged,

"It could…though as my last lead kinda fizzled out I'm rather at a standstill at the moment."

Alec shrugged, nodding thoughtfully,

"Oh well…maybe it's something we can work with…what was the lead?"

Raphael glanced up, quirking his eyebrow,

"You…"

Alec blinked in surprise,

"What?"

Again Raphael shrugged, giving that flippant wave,

"Well as I said I've read Jace's file- he doesn't have the intelligence to pull this off…and I couldn't see him coming up with this on his own. On the other hand it'd hardly be the first time a seasoned operative went rouge- and quite frankly you seem uptight enough to be one of the one's that snap. I have been working under the assumption you were either already working with him or he would reach out to you…"

Alec sputtered,

"Y-you seriously think I had something to do with this?"

He sighed,

"I did…which is why I bugged your phone."

"WHAT!?"

Raphael chuckled,

"No need to shout…it was a logical decision. You are an agent, you are his brother…you were the most logical place for him to turn."

Alec stammered, shaking his head,

"I-w-what…I can't believe this…so what? You've been spying on me?"

Raphael quirked his eyebrow,

"Lightwood? We are spies…it is literally in our job description."

"_Not on our own people!"_

Raphael scoffed,

"That's adorable."

Alec glared

"Since when?"

Raphael shrugged, glancing up,

"8:30 last night when we got word of your brothers actions. It just seemed far too much of a coincidence his brother being an agent…I figured you had to be involved in some way."

Alec blinked

"S-so…what…You think I'm a traitor?"

Raphael scoffed, rolling his eyes,

"I _**did**_...then I spent half a day listening to you."

Alec relaxed faintly,

"So...you don't anymore?"

Raphael outright laughed at that, waving him off,

"Oh please…I don't think you're capable of it. You make freaking captain America look morally ambiguous. I'm half expecting you to write a letter of apology for speeding during the high speed chase."

Alec huffed, rolling his eyes,

"Oh I would not…"

He chuckles,

"Sure Boyscout whatever you say…"

Alec sputtered,

"Stop calling me that! And just because I prefer to do my job without tossing my own personal values to the wayside doesn't mean-"

Simon sighed, leaning back in the seat as the other two sniped at each other, letting the bickering fade into the background…

_Okay so…just to recap:_

_He is an accidental government experiment/ soon to be superspy in training…_

_He is gonna be shot at…_

_He has people who are hunting him and actively want him dead…_

_He is going to be the center of a crazy ass case stuck in the middle of what seems to be a constant sniping match between the apparently super moral- Captain America of CIA operatives and one of the scariest/prettiest people he has ever met who has no issue wiping out half a dozen people and can subdue others with a cocky smirk and eyebrow raise…_

_He is stuck working with these maniacs and trying to stumble his way through a world he has NO business being anywhere near…_

_All because he opened an unknown download._

_Maybe it's for the best his computer was fried…clearly the damn thing's a hell of a lot more trouble than he ever imagined._

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _End Of Chapter Notes…_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

_**"Oh mi Dios eres demaciado lindo... nadie debe ser encantador que mientras alguien grita". -**_

"Oh my god you are way too cute… no one should be that charming while yelling at someone."

I don't know if it was super obvious but the reason Raphael was so flippant with Simon when he was freaking out was a way to get him to get him mad (And to stop panicking)…

I think this verses dynamic's gonna be a lot of fun...

What do you guys think so far?

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

*** 19 ***


	6. Chapter 6-So NOT The Guy…

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

_**Chapter 6:**_

_**So NOT The Guy…**_

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

Okay so…apparently this is actually happening. The surrealness of the rest of the day is kinda settling in now since they're done with the random high speed chase, bullets flying, inches from death, terrifying 'Collective' agents and even more terrifying _(Not to mention gorgeous as hell)_ NSA assassin portion of the day.

The danger has past and now his new reality is setting in…and quite frankly it was less scary during the whole high speed chase/inches from death thing.

Then he had the adrenaline going, everything was fast and crazy and terrifying and totally surreal. It was like a dream/nightmare/late night movie marathon and junk food induced reality break kinda thing. Even though he was there for every last terrifying moment it didn't really _**seem**_ real.

A part of him was convinced the entire time that there was gonna be some kind of twist, some kinda 'psych' type moment or glimpse of sanity through the chaos. Something that told him this wasn't real, he was just dreaming and was gonna wake up and everything would be just like it was…

Now that's getting less and less likely.

He's trying to come to grips with the fact that this IS real. This is actually happening…he's not just gonna 'wake up'.

_He is going to be a spy._

_Be a freaking __**government**__ agent…_

_Crap…_

_The spy world will never be the same._

Maybe Raphael wouldn't have been so off the mark with the whole Simon being a 'national security threat' thing. I mean he'd never purposefully betray his country- he wouldn't. He would never purposefully betray anyone. That being said he is a flaily, clumsy, overly-excitable chatterbox who now has the entirety of the combined Intel of the NSA, the CIA and who the hell knows what else buried in his head and the near complete inability to regulate what the hell comes out of his mouth.

_Oh crap…Raphael's gonna end up shooting him, isn't he?_

_Crap…_

He swallows nervously, gaze slipping up to the rearview mirror, sneaking a peek at the terrifying _(ly gorgeous)_ agent/assassin setting casually in the back seat, idly doing something on his phone.

They'd all decided to ride over in Raphael's car as Alec's was well…toast for the moment. The guy'd made a quick two minute call just giving their location and a call for three pickups, flashing a quick smirk and wave at the bound collective agents, telling them to behave before turning and leading the other two to his car on the next block. He moved over to the passenger side, opening the door for Simon before turning casually tossing the keys to Alec, leisurely climbing in the back seat without a word.

This kinda confused Alec (Simon was right there with him). He'd of swore the guy'd be the type that had to be in control, clearly Alec was thinking it'd be the same way- plus as it was HIS car it just stood to reason he'd take the wheel- literally. But maybe they've read the guy wrong. Maybe he was trying to show that he could be a team player and he wasn't just gonna run roughshod over the other agent on the case.

Then again maybe they hadn't read him wrong and this was his way of getting that control. It definitely threw Alec off and was a pretty clear indicator that he was most definitely not in any way intimidated or threatened by Alec.

And yeah mind games and psych outs…THAT seemed to fit the guy to a tee.

He shook his head, again glancing in the mirror at Raphael.

That, right there, is a person who strikes fear into the hearts of Government and counter government agents alike. A fierce, deadly predator who has no issue taking out half a dozen –admittedly evil- people, then subduing other's with a cocky look and an excited little smirk, slipping seamlessly into smiling and joking not five minutes later like it's nothing. Because to him it IS nothing.

Just part of his job.

That is someone who looks at taking a life like Simon looks at talking someone through a system restore- just another typical day at the office. Something that barely even deserves a mention.

That, right there- setting not two feet from him- is a deadly predator…

A killer.

A killer he is going to be working with, like on a daily bases.

Simon should be terrified of the man…

But he's not.

And that right there scares the hell out of him.

The man's odd, hardly anything like he was expecting from what Alec had told him about this 'Phoenix'- well the little he got out before all hell broke loose.

The man was nothing like he thought; he was funny, sarcastic, and surprisingly charming with a flirty little smirk that was totally disarming.

That is SO not what he'd expect a government assassin to be like.

He was expecting cold, clipped, stoic, threatening…

O-Okay yeah, no question he had the threatening thing down but it wasn't really to the level Simon had expected. There was an odd little hint of humor to it- not like he was _joking_ necessarily, but almost like it was a bit of a game to him- as if part of it was simply because he liked screwing with people and seeing them squirm. Kinda like a cat playing with a mouse. That should actually make it all the more terrifying- and Simon had a feeling if the threatening thing was directed towards him specifically it probably would- but as it stands it almost strikes him as weirdly cute and slightly thrilling-

_And yeah he knows that's probably not a sane response to this kinda thing but…hell with this day 'sane' went out the window somewhere around the time Alec flirtily asked him to fix his phone this morning- It's all relative at this point._

The man was totally unlike anyone he's ever met- which he HAD expected- but in an in altogether different, completely unexpected way…

_Hmm..._

Simon can't help his gaze lingering.

_Geez…no one that deadly should be that beautiful_.

Something seems to catch Raphael's attention. He glances up, pretty, impossibly dark eyes meeting Simon's in the mirror. He tilts his head, eyebrow quirking, flashing a playfully impish smirk and flirty little wink.

Simon flushes brightly, swallowing, quickly glancing away, fighting down a nervous giggle.

Okay this whole thing was bat-crap crazy and he had no doubt in his mind that this was all gonna totally blow up in their faces…probably quicker than even he imagines…but gotta admit- he may not totally hate seeing the guy pretty regularly.

_He really wa-_

_Oh my god Simon what the hell are you doing? Get it together dude!_

Pretty smile and playful winks aside the man is a freaking _**killer**_. He is deadly…Hell, for all you know the charming, beautiful, enticing thing is all just another weapon at his disposal. Like a honey trap-

Draws you in, gets you to drop your guard.

_Get your mind off the stupidly pretty assassin and back onto the current madness at hand._

_In less than an hour your life is going to completely change- probably forever…this is SO not the time to be distracted by a pretty boy…_

_No matter how pretty he may be._

They're on their way now to the CIA field office. Simon is gonna meet with Alec's boss and get checked out by their medical experts. They should be able to determine if the program was a success and ensure there's no side-effects from the whole intersect thing…

You know no side-effects except the freaking Super-spy cheat code that randomly downloaded into his brain.

Because apparently the worst danger of opening an unknown download ISN'T in fact just your hard drive frying or a bombardment of computer viruses and spyware. No, he's the only person in history that downloaded 'Spyware' directly into his brain theoretically turning him into the most laughably underqualified Spy in the history of spying…

He's not a Spy…he is SO not a spy. Spies are cool and suave and calm under pressure and intimidating and agile. Spies are people like Alec and Raphael. Spies are NOT people like Simon. Simon is loud and clumsy and geeky and totally uncoordinated and flaily and trips over his own feet while he's standing completely still.

There is not a program strong enough to fix all of that.

This was gonna be a total disaster.

I mean the way Alec talked it was all but a done deal- if the program ran successfully and the info was actually somehow imprinted into his head, he was just gonna be a spy and that's all there is to it.

_But that can't be the case…it can't. _

_I mean, there had to be an out…right? A loophole? An exception for the sheer insanity?_

Yes, the program running had to be a big deal. He understood that the tests had been wildly unsuccessful and they were sure it would be years till they actually had a success at it. He got that a sudden, surprise functioning intersect was a huge jump forward and he got the kneejerk reaction that it worked so they can work with this.

But the program was designed to be used on people _**already**_ recruited for the Agencies. People who had all the basic building blocks for being an agent, just lacking the formal training. People who were strong and brave and unflappable. People who are stealthy and had it together…

People who did not geek out over the newest Star Wars movie, or babble on for hours, or trip, stumble and fall on a regular basis and who had a rudimentary amount of control over their limbs and brain to mouth filter...

Or at least HAD a brain to mouth filter.

Simon was like the total antithesis of everything a spy should be.

And really, let's just for the sake of argument say that the damn program actually DID work- did do what it was designed for and he actually did have like the entirety of the CIA and NSA's Intel buried somewhere in his head.

_**Who cares?!**_

_The freaking knowledge is the least of his problems!_

Does it have a thing to fix his yammering? Will it suddenly make him coordinated? Will it suddenly make him stealthy? Will it fix his tendency of tripping over things- including on occasion his own freaking feet? Will it stop his tendency of randomly blurting things out? Or saying things he means to just think?

_Huh? Will it?_

And even if by some crazy ass twist it DOES actually manage to do all that when the things working- what about all the rest of the time?

The Intersect is supposed to kick in when it's 'needed' whatever the hell THAT means- so all that random knowledge doesn't totally fry his brain like it did his computer…

So it'll kick in and give him the info he needs…

Great…

What about for the rest of the mission-y type things?

How are they gonna get him through an entire mission? From what it sounded like he'd get like blips of pertinent information when he needed it. How the hell is that gonna help him on an actual mission? What? Is he just supposed to try to hold really still and not flail or trip over anything and shout random info at people like Alec and Raphael who actually have the skills to do something with said info?

The way Alec was talking he wasn't gonna be like some Magic 8 ball for the agency to get a tip to run with- he'd be an _**actual**_ spy. Meaning he'd be going on missions…he'd be using the info to do…do? W-whatever the hell spies do.

_Huh…_

_What exactly do spies even actually do?_

_He has no damn clue._

His knowledge of spies basically consists of like two Bond movies, Austin Powers, Charlie's Angels, Nick Fury, Kim Possible and, like Boris and Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle.

_Oh good god…_

_He is SO gonna die._

Like seriously; what's it matter if he has all the knowledge required for a mission if the knowledge is wrapped up in a flailing, babbling, stumbling package?

_Oh my god…this is so bad._

First 'mission' he's gonna end up babbling out something important to the bad guys, totally screwing up the mission or stumbling over something and like setting off some kind of weapon.

_He cannot be trusted with this kinda thing! _

_Planning a surprise party involves too much stealth for him!_

_Oh crap, this is j-_

He startles faintly, feeling a hand on his shoulder, glancing around. Alec smiles reassuringly,

"Hey, we're here…"

Simon blinks, shaking his head faintly, looking around. He paused blinking again, eyes traveling over the faded and peeling bluish grey storefront with the kinda washed out yellow and blue sign with 'Great Expeditions' written in dull brown script.

_Huh…_

Simon glanced over at Alec slipping out of the car, hesitantly doing the same,

"Umm…I thought we were going to the 'CIA field office'? Why are we at a travel agency with the world's most painfully punny name?"

Raphael chuckled getting out of the back of the car, reaching up resting his hand on Simon's shoulder, patting lightly, flashing a faint smirk,

"Because this IS the CIA Field office. Though you are right…the name's atrocious…at least it probably helps keep away business. Well, that and the fact that anyone with half a brain just goes online to plan their trips…also intentional."

Simon glanced over at Alec, quirking his eyebrow,

He nodded,

"He's not wrong. The CIA's technically a foreign intelligence agency- typically we're not to be working in country…but…well…things happen, and obviously they don't all happen in Washington DC. We have smaller field offices scattered about to help deal with that." Alec paused, glancing over Simon and Raphael, eyes shifting contemplatingly, waving for them to stop,

"Actually, can you guys give me a sec? I want to call in and give the agents working the desk a heads up."

Simon blinked,

"A-about me?"

Raphael chuckled smirking, shaking his head,

"No…about me…" he shrugged, flashing a slight smirk Alec's way, leaning against the car, giving a carelessly flippant wave,

"That's actually probably a good idea. Me just randomly showing up does have a tendency of putting some of the more fidgety agents on edge." He shifted closer to Simon, resting his hand on his shoulder, squeezing, flashing a slight smirk,

"Go ahead Boyscout, he'll be fine.

I've got him."

Alec hesitated a moment, glancing over to Simon questioningly. Simon sighed, shrugging,

"Dude I heard your reaction to the name 'Phoenix'; I get the feeling you're generally one of the more cool, level-headed type agents. A heads up is probably a really good idea. Make your call, we're fine."

Alec flashed a grateful smile, nodding, beginning a bit across the parking lot, away from the car pulling out his phone.

Simon took a deep breath, rolling his neck,

_Oh my god…he is gonna be working with an agent who freaks out OTHER agents so much they need a heads up to keep from panicking on his arrival._

_How the hell did a simple email and his eagerness for a possible bootleg copy of a game lead him to this?_

He groans faintly, glancing around, trying to find something to focus on to take his mind off the insanity of the day. His eyes land on the run down storefront of 'Great Expeditions'. He gives a slight scoff of an almost laugh, shaking his head. Raphael glances over at him, quirking an eyebrow,

Simon shrugs, gesturing towards the storefront,

"So…this? This whole front business for a government agency is just a normal thing for you guys?"

Raphael flashed a quick smile, shrugging slightly,

"You know that weird sushi and Barbeque place over on 2nd with no windows and the sign that's half torn that's closed for a 'health code' violation every other month?"

Simon nodded slowly,

Raphael nodded back, tilting his head,

"Yeah that's the NSA's field office…_technically_ it is a functioning restaurant upstairs but unless you're actually trying to get or give someone food poisoning I'd really recommend avoiding anything there at all cost. Pretty sure the agent they tasked with the cover of 'cook' is taking their resentment for the job out on any patrons stupid enough to wander in…

That or he's actually testing new, non-lethal ways to subdue threats. If that's the case he's actually VERY good at his job."

Simon gave a slightly unsure laugh,

"I-okay I don't know if you're just screwing with me or not."

Raphael glanced over flashing a fake, overly innocent smile,

"You really think I would do something like that?"

Simon snorted, nodding quickly,

"Without a doubt."

Raphael gave a surprised laugh, squeezing his shoulder, shifting a bit closer,

"Good instincts…maybe you won't be quite as completely lost with this as you thought."

Simon shook his head animatedly,

"Oh dude please, don't even try that. Me being able to pick up when people are screwing with me is not gonna make this in any way less insane.

I'm sure it'll be SO much worse than I think. All day long I've been trying to prepare myself for the absolute worst case scenario and I think I am…and then what I thought was the 'worst case scenario' ends up seeming downright quaint compared to the bat-crap crazy reality.

I'm done trying to prepare.

What good is being able to pick up when one person is screwing with you when fate, the powers that be, the cosmos and I'm guessing freaking Loki himself just from the irony have all joined forces for the sole purpose of screwing with you?"

Raphael chuckled, quirking his eyebrow,

"Loki from Norse folklore, Loki from the Marvel Universe, or Loki/Gabriel from Supernatural?"

Simon stumbled flailing, looking over at Raphael, swallowing, reaching over, catching his arm, blinking. Raphael glanced over questioningly, tilting his head. Simon swallowed again holding up his finger,

_Oh my god…_ _he cannot ask things like that. He cannot have a stupidly gorgeous, funny, suave, sarcastic freaking government assassin with a smile that makes him lightheaded and an impish wink who actually knew nerd stuff enough to casually drop a reference like that. He can't. It's more dangerous for his health than the high speed chases and sniping insanity. _

"T-that, umm…okay wow."

Raphael chuckled, quirking his eyebrow, pretty deep eyes sparkling brilliantly.

"Well…which is it?"

Simon cleared his throat, giving a slight shrug, pulling his gaze away from those deep, utterly hypnotic eyes, shaking his head faintly,

"Umm…I-I don't know…as insane as today has been I don't think I can totally rule out them all working together."

Raphael laughed, giving an impish smirk, dark eyes sparking teasingly, slipping a bit closer.

"So you really think fate, the cosmos, powers that be, and three trickster gods from multiple universes all teamed up just to screw with you?"

Simon scoffed, looking over giving a slightly flailing wave, eyes widening,

"Do YOU have a more plausible explanation for how just opening a simple freaking email has resulted in one of the most uncoordinated, animated, flaily, least stealthy chatterbox's you will ever meet ending up an unwilling spy recruit with a head full of government cheat codes?"

He laughed before pausing, tilting his head consideringly, holding up a finger, giving a slight shrug,

"You know…when you put it that way fate conspiring with a multiverse of Loki's actually doesn't seem too farfetched."

Simon gave a sharp laugh, waving animatedly at him,

"Right!?"

He groaned shaking his head,

"Oh my god…you need to stop making me laugh…I shouldn't be laughing-

This is total insanity, I should be terrified."

He shrugged, quirking his eyebrow,

"So…panicking and near hyperventilating is better than laughing about a situation?"

Simon flailed, giving a flippant wave,

"Uh, maybe not but it IS the correct response to this kind of situation…not that there's ever been 'this kinda situation'. But seriously if there's ever a time that warrants panic and terror it's this."

Raphael shook his head,

"No, that's not the 'correct response' it is the expected one. It's also by far the least useful. It solves nothing, just causes more problems and prevents you from doing what you need to do."

Simon scoffed, blinking, shrugging,

"S-so what? I'm just supposed to not be afraid? I don't know how to do that- I'm not you, okay? I'm not some kickass government assassin who scares other agents and can subdue villains with a confident smirk and eyebrow raise…

I'm not that guy, okay? I'm just not."

He tilted his head, flashing a quick smile,

"No…YOU are the guy who _**shouted**_ at a 'kickass government assassin who scares other agents and can subdue villains with a confident smirk and eyebrow raise', told him off and called him 'smirky'…pretty impressive."

Simon flushed, giving a flailing wave,

"That's not impressive! It's my mouth running away from me like it always does! I wasn't brave, I was pissed! And you were being a jackass."

Raphael smirked, shrugging,

"Yes. Yes I was."

Simon blinked in surprise,

"You're not even gonna deny it? Try to say I'm overreacting or being too 'wordy'. So what? You were actually being an ass on purpose?"

Raphael nodded,

"Yup."

Simon flailed,

"_**W-what?!**_ Why…why would you DO that?! I was freaking terrified; petrified, huddled on the floor, shaking. Why would you purposely be obnoxious to someone in that state?"

He quirked his eyebrow,

"Got you up off the floor, didn't it?"

Simon blinked,

"W-what?"

Raphael sighed, shrugging,

"Simon I know you were scared, of course you were- anyone unaccustomed to it would be…hell even those more used to it would be pretty rattling.

It's okay to be afraid.

Fear isn't a bad thing…it can motivate you- but it can also paralyze you. Of course you're going to be afraid, that's a given. But just standing there being terrified isn't gonna do anything…except eventually end up getting you killed- which is kinda counterproductive and reflects bad on me as my job is to prevent that from happening.

There's gonna be a lot of scary, terrifying things that are going to make you want to just curl up in a ball and hide…

But that will not accomplish anything. Fear isn't gonna get you through it. You need to get mad, or laugh at the craziness of it all. You need to find a way to get yourself out of that terrified headspace and into one that is more likely to allow you to get through the situation at hand. Then when it's all done, when you're safe and it's quiet and you have a chance to breathe away from all the insanity THAT'S when you can really deal with the fear."

Simon glanced over, shrugging,

"That sounds like a really good plan…but remember I'm someone who can't even control what I say…

You really think I'm gonna have any better luck with my emotions?"

Raphael chuckled,

"Well if you can't I guess I'll just have to help you."

Simon quirked his eyebrow,

"So in other words your plan for my survival is to be an ass to me to keep me too angry to stay scared?"

He shrugged,

"Seems like a pretty solid plan."

Simon flailed, shaking his head quickly,

"No it doesn't! It just sounds like you want to be an ass and this is a good excuse."

He chuckled, waving flippantly,

"What? It can't be both?"

Simon gave a surprised laugh, before pausing rubbing at his face,

"Dude…this is just so completely insane. Like I understand what you're saying and I'm sure there are plenty of people that this would be a dream come true for- who doesn't play secret agent growing up? But seriously I'm like the very last person who should be a spy.

Like I am the exact opposite of what a spy should be. I just keep thinking that even IF the whole intersect thing worked like…so what? So what if I have all the knowledge a spy could ever actually need if I'm a clumsy, flailing, chatterbox who can barely handle the stealth to be involved in the planning of a surprise party?

I am just SO not cut out for this.

When I thought someone broke into my house I searched it with a light saber! My spy knowledge comes from bad spy parodies and cartoons- I just realized I don't even really know what the hell spies do…and for heaven sake's I was like JUST talking about different multiverse versions of Loki teaming up with fate just to screw with me!

I am SO not the spy type."

Raphael reached up, resting his hand on his arm, squeezing gently, flashing a surprisingly reassuring smile,

"Well, can't say I've faced literal gods but fate has thrown more twists and turns at me than you'd ever believe and I'm still here."

Simon sighed, shrugging, glancing over him,

"Yeah but you probably weren't starting so far behind on all of this…I-I honestly don't think I can handle it."

Raphael shrugged, squeezing his shoulder.

"You'd be amazed what someone can face when they don't have any other option."

Simon sighed,

"Yeah I j-" he's cut off as Alec hangs up his phone, making his way back over by them, flashing a quick smile, glancing between the two before focusing back on Simon,

"Okay we're good, Luke's waiting in his office, the doctor's in there now too. They're all ready for us…" He paused glancing Simon over in concern,

"You ready Simon?"

He shrugged, glancing over at Raphael before shifting back to Alec, taking a deep breath,

"As I'll ever be."

_*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_ _End Of Chapter Notes…_ _*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*___*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*_____*___*_

Okay so this one may be a bit of filler- I didn't really mean for them to get stuck in the parking lot but it was the first excuse for Simon and Raphael to have a moment alone…I couldn't pass that up.

FYI The NSA field office's cover is based on this really odd restaurant in my town- It's been open for years and yet I've never actually seen any business there…

And it IS a BBQ Sushi place…at least that's what it says on the sign…

I'm not about to wander in there.

Anyways this is just the 1st half of the chapter- the next will have Simon actually meet Luke and get us a bit more info on the intersect.

_So what do you guys think so far?_

_-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__Simon The Not-So-Super-Spy__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-__*__-_

*** 20 ***


	7. Chapter 7-Waking Up To Reality

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_**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__**S**__**i**__**m**__**o**__**n**__**T**__**h**__**e**__**N**__**o**__**t-**__**S**__**o-**__**S**__**u**__**p**__**e**__**r-**__**S**__**p**__**y**__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**_

_**Chapter 7:**_

_**Wake Up To Reality**_

_Chapter Complete!_*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

_Kay…here goes nothing…_

Simon took a couple deep, hopefully calming breaths, falling into step behind Alec, Raphael slipping close to his side beginning for the door of the CIA headquarters/horribly named travel agency. Alec reached forward, pulling the door open, holding it for the other two. Simon slipped in, glancing around nervously.

The walls were a pale, kinda drab bluish color, somewhat faded looking, like it was supposed to be bright and inviting but had just kinda given up. That seemed to be a running theme with the place. The sad walls were dotted with a few slightly washed out pictures and posters with exciting writing proclaiming 'Paris Perfection', 'Beautiful Bali', 'Awesome Australia' and a multitude of other punny, alliterative phrasings lazily photoshopped over top of what Simon was 90% sure was the first image that came up when typed into a search engine- at least one of which was clearly used mainly to cover where the wallpaper was peeling.

The dingy, sandy brown carpet was kinda worn in more than a few places, the pattern long since faded into obscurity. There were a couple dull rust colored, lumpy looking chairs lining the left wall, the right featuring a hanging magazine rack, a water cooler and a dusky brown door marked Break Room: Employees only.

Along the back wall there was a large bleached wood help desk, bracketed by a rack of post cards and a messy, not even half full 'take one' holder of brochures. The desk was manned by one lone, kinda gangly guy with wide, startled grayish brown eyes and meticulously parted hair that sharply contrasted with the glaringly loud red Hawaiian shirt he was wearing. The man was fidgeting slightly, nervously tapping a pen on the desk. When they entered he startled, jumping faintly, making a slight 'eep' type sound, sending the pen flying, eyes somehow widening all the more.

Simon quirked his eyebrow,

_Huh,_

Well…if anything the (he's assuming) agent at the desk made Simon feel a bit less out of place…also the cover was most definitely pretty foolproof. Anyone who did actually wander in to plan a trip would take one look around and promptly wander right back out, probably only hesitating long enough to ensure the nervous, wide eyed, Hawaiian shirted dude at the help desk was there of their own volition _(Simon was actually kinda unsure of that himself)._

Hawaiian shirted dude epped again, scrambling out of the chair, gulping faintly, flashing a nervous smile and a jerky little wave, looking over the other two, glancing over Simon quickly, eyes shifting to the Man standing next to him, gulping again.

"Oh! Wow that was fast…U-H-hello Agent Lightwood, and Agent…um…Phoenix…sir…and uh…Agent…Mr…um…guy?" He paused, blinking in confusion.

Simon blinked back in surprise, kinda thrown by suddenly not being the most panicky person in the room. He gave a faint wave, flashing a slight, nervous smile at the other man.

"Hi I'm Simon…Simon Lewis. No 'Agent' not yet…with any luck not at all. I'm still kinda hoping this is all a big mistake, weird dream or I ended up with a spiked drink and am hallucinating all this."

He gave a slight, surprised laugh, glancing between the two agents back to Simon, giving a quick nod.

"Uh yeah- I don't know all the details- or really much of any of the details- but I kinda doubt 'this' bodes too well."

Simon snorted, nodding animatedly,

"Dude, understatement of the year…seriously you don't even know."

He glanced to Simon's right then over at Raphael, gulping, nodding quickly.

"Uh…I think I'm happier like that."

Raphael chuckled, smirking, giving a slight shrug.

"Oh now, no need for that Agent Byrd- or perhaps I should stick with Jaylin as we will be working together?"

There went that 'eep' sound again. Agent Byrd paled, eyes widening even more (At this point Simon was fairly sure if they widened anymore they may actually fall out.)

"W-working together?"

Raphael flashed a playful wink,

"Those are my orders…" he paused, gaze sharpening, tilting his head slightly.

"You do not have a problem with that…do you Jaylin?"

He gulped, shaking his head so fast it's a wonder the poor guy didn't get dizzy.

"N-no! No I j-jus- I didn't I mean it's n-"

Alec sighed, shaking his head,

"Byrd, _**breathe**_. You're gonna end up hyperventilating. He's not gonna be working with you- he'll be working with me, okay? That's why I called ahead. I just told you he was coming…it shouldn't be that big of a surprise."

Byrd flailed slightly,

"Yeah but when you said you'd be 'right in' you didn't say you were calling from the freaking parking lot. I thought I had more time!"

Raphael quirked his eyebrow,

"And…more time to stress about it would have somehow made you less nervous?"

Simon rolled his eyes, glancing over at him,

"So apparently it's not just me you like being an ass to?"

Byrd actually squeaked at that, looking at Simon like he'd grown a second head. Raphael blinked in surprise, glancing over at him. A faint smirk tugging at his lips.

"Hmm…that brave, or just another 'escaping thought'?"

Simon shrugged, giving a bit of a careless wave,

"I'm thinking it's leaning into the insanity hoping it helps me get through faster. Besides I figure for the most part I'm kinda in the clear with you so why not just go with it?"

Raphael gave a surprised chuckle, slipping closer, eyes sparking near playfully,

"Oh you are, hmm…?"

Simon again shrugged, subconsciously slipping closer,

"Well…yeah…"

Raphael smirked, pretty dark eyes sparking curiously, quirking his eyebrow,

"And how do you figure you are 'in the clear' with me…hmm…Simey?"

Simon startled faintly, cheeks coloring a bit before recovering, quirking his eyebrow right back,

"Okay well first off I haven't really been called that since high school and I kinda hated it then too. Next I get that the sneaky name drop thing is supposed to be like intimidating or whatever, but dude- you're a spy- and it's not like there's a hell of a lot of other options so far as 'Simon' is concerned.

Think I should be more worried if you couldn't figure out something that simple.

And as far as the 'in the clear' thing? You JUST said that your job was to keep me alive during all this insanity. So, you know…threatening me would be kinda counterproductive…you can't really protect me if it's you I need protecting from…

Right?"

Raphael chuckled, shrugging, flashing a playful smirk,

"Hmm…you may have me there. At least for the moment. I am generally quite cunning though- pretty sure I'll get the upper hand soon enough."

Simon gave a slight huffing laugh, and a flailing shrug,

"Uh _duh?_ Of course you will- Scary 'superspy assassin' verses flailing nerdhearder chatterbox isn't exactly an even match. I get laughed at when I try to scare off the obnoxious teenagers who try to ride their skateboards through the store. Alec had to call ahead to warn the other agents you were coming so they wouldn't freak out- and so far the only agent we've seen is still pretty well freaked out."

"I'm not freaked out! I was just surprised…I thought there was more time…" Byrd mumbled,

Raphael rolled his eyes faintly, glancing over at the skittish agent,

"Again I do not see how you having more time to panic would in any way help."

Simon quirked his eyebrow,

"So is this you being an ass to help him get through the situation…or just you being an ass?"

"The latter…almost _always_ the latter." An amused voice said from off to their right.

The group turn to see the speaker, a pretty woman in a well fitted, deep burgundy suit is leaning casually against the wall, smirking. She looks to be in her mid twenties and has striking features, long jet black hair pulled up in a tight ponytail, and deep, nearly black, brown eyes.

Raphael gives a sharp, surprised laugh.

"Div? What are you doing here?"

She shrugged, pushing off the wall, moving over towards them,

"In general? Working as a liaison between the NSA and CIA in order to keep everything on track and make sure all parties are playing nice. Makes sense as I worked with you guys for three years before transferring here. Plus I'm one of the few people who's worked with you and doesn't run for cover at the mere mention of your name…so you know, that helps too.

Currently? Switching places with poor Byrd here so he doesn't have a panic attack at your arrival. Director Garroway called me in as soon as they got word you'd be the agent assigned to the case…"

He laughed,

"Ah, that explains why he kept saying he thought he had more time- didn't really know how that translated to him being less nervous…now I do."

She chuckled, giving a slight wave,

"Well you know- Director Garroway filled me in," she paused, glancing curiously over Simon,

"Sounds like this'll be a hell of a complicated one. Figure it'd go a bit smoother if we can cut down on your tormenting of the locals."

He rolled his eyes,

"_I don't torment!"_

Simon scoffed giving a surprised laugh, flailing slightly,

"Dude! What do you call not five minutes ago with poor Agent Byrd there?"

Raphael shrugged,

"I wasn't tormenting! If anything it was the opposite of tormenting. I told him there was no need for the panicky thing…I even asked how he'd prefer me to address him to put him most at ease.

How is THAT tormenting?"

Divya actually snorted,

"Really? And by 'ask how he wanted to be addressed' you mean that thing where you pull someone's name and a whole bunch of other crap that they have no idea you know about them out of thin air and just drop it casually like it's nothing?"

Simon nodded, pointing animatedly,

"Yeah! Exactly…that's totally what he did. So that's, like, one of his things, right?"

Divya chuckled, nodding,

"Yup…usually pretty effective too. He had my poor brother convinced he was some kind of psychic. He actually started carrying around a thing of holy water and garlic…and slept with a cross under his pillow for like nearly a year."

Simon blinked,

"Umm…I'm pretty sure those are for Vampires, not psychics. Why did he think they'd repel Psychics?"

Raphael scoffed,

"Because her brother's kinda an idiot."

Divya huffed, sending a faint glare Raphael's way,

"No he's not! Raj is one of the smartest people I know. He's a professor of Anthropology specializing in Mythology and Religion throughout history."

Simon quirked his eyebrow,

"And…he didn't know those were for Vampires and not psychics?"

She shrugged,

"He did…he couldn't find anything for psychics…figured it couldn't make it worse."

Raphael scoffed, rolling his eyes,

"He was wrong."

Simon glanced over, quirking his eyebrow,

"How did it 'make it worse'?"

"He startled and sprayed me with a bottle of holy water mixed with garlic."

Alec gave a surprised laugh, shaking his head,

"Umm…yeah I can see that making it a bit worse. How'd that go over?"

Divya smiled, patting Raphael's shoulder,

"It went over fine. Raj is a civilian- he had done nothing wrong but be jumpy and it was Raph's own damn fault in the first place for tormenting the guy and sneaking up on him like that."

Raphael rolled his eyes,

"I wasn't 'sneaking' I move quietly…I'm a _spy;_ it comes with the territory."

Divya rolled her eyes right back,

"Yeah, yeah, you're terrifying reputation is all just one big misunderstanding after another…real-"

"Hey wait…_**Raph?" **_Alec interrupted glancing between the two of them in confusion, pointing at Raphael.

"Raph- as in your over the top, dramatic best friend? Who you're always laughing and trading little jokes with?

Your friend 'Raph' is the Phoenix?"

She shrugged,

"Yeah…Otherwise known as Raphael Santiago. Did I forget to mention that?"

Alec scoffed in disbelief,

"Uh yeah, you did…"

She gave an unconcerned shrug,

"Huh…weird, must've just slipped my mind…"

She gave a faint smirk and a not at all apologetic shrug before shifting her focus, looking over at Simon, smile softening, turning less impish and more reassuring. She stepped forward, extending her hand, taking Simon's in a firm, confident grip,

"Hi Simon-Agent Divya Nadim, it's very nice to meet you. Director Garroway filled me in, I really am sorry about all of this. I can't even begin to imagine all the things going through your head right now. I know this probably seems totally overwhelming and I'm sure whatever you've heard/seen/probably will see of Raph kinda makes it all the more mindboggling. But despite the intimidating and insanity there really aren't too many people better to have your back." She paused glancing over at Alec, flashing a friendly smile,

"And despite the Captain America on an Ethics binge tendencies Alec genuinely is one of the best agents I've ever met- even if he is a total Boyscout. Between the two of them you really couldn't be in better hands."

Simon shook his head, shrugging, brushing his hair back, giving a faintly hopeless shrug.

"Thank you Agent Nadim…they really seem like it. Though in all honesty it's not _**their**_ ability to handle this I'm worried about."

She softened faintly, giving an understanding nod, squeezing his arm.

"I know. Look Simon, I realize this is a lot to deal with, we all do. No one expects you to just automatically have all this down. It is totally unprecedented…even WE don't know what the hell to do in this situation. Right now we're all just flying blind here."

Simon snorted eyes widening.

"Umm…I-is that supposed to make me feel better? Cause uh…"

She chuckled, shaking her head,

"Simon, I'm not trying to make you feel better- I'm not sugar coating it. I'm telling you exactly how it is. Right now none of us know what the hell is going on here- we are just as lost as you are with this…" She squeezed his arm, shrugging,

"But that is okay. We fly blind into situations all the time…and we make it out. We may not have experience with 'THIS' but no one involved here is gonna just give up, or say 'oh well, what are you gonna do'. We face crazy, impossible situations every day…and we make it through. We may not know the situation as of yet but we know the procedure to figure it out. We assess the situation, run tests, assess again, figure out what needs to be done, and do it.

I know all of this seems impossible- and that's because right up until Alec called in about two hours ago we thought it WAS impossible. Looking at this all together will be maddening- it's like trying to figure out a two thousand piece puzzle just by dumping it out on the table in a heap. It's insanity and like that it makes no sense.

So we start at the most logical part and work our way around."

He swallowed, blinking in surprise…

"Oookay…umm…that actually did kinda help. So we like, start with the corners right?"

Divya smiled, nodding, squeezing his shoulder again.

"Exactly…and while it might seem like an insane amount you're not in it alone- not even close. You have two of the most powerful agencies in the country pulling for you here, and arguably the best assets from each have your back…that is a huge advantage." She glanced from Simon over at the other two men shaking her head, glancing back at Simon, chuckling faintly.

"I'm not gonna lie- working with these two is gonna be insane. They are total opposites and honestly when I heard of the two agents assigned to this I made a pit stop to pick up some popcorn for the ensuing show that will be them attempting to work together…"

Simon laughed, nodding animatedly,

"Oh yeah…no question…it's like a really weird, spy craft type version of the odd couple."

Alec and Raphael shot near identical annoyed, sarcastic glares at the two before catching sight of each other, hastily glancing away. Simon and Divya snickered, she shrugged, smirking, glancing back at him.

"Well if anything else you'll have plenty of entertainment to break up the insanity."

Simon gave a slight huff of a laugh, shrugging with a kind of flippant wave, shaking his head.

"Okay, you know what the hell. So far today I woke up from an apparent videogame coma, was late to work, had a model looking guy pretend to be tech illiterate to hit on me, my house was broken into, I went out for a burger and ended up in a high speed chase and getting shot at, then nearly shot again…and probably again but I may be blocking it out or it's all just running together and am now in a secret CIA base cleverly disguised as the world's most punny, depressing travel agency.

I've made it through all of that…what's a little more insanity?

So...this whole crazy 'thing' is our puzzle…what's the corner we start with?"

Divya gave a beaming smile,

"That would be with you. We need to get you checked out- make sure there aren't any side-effects or the like. Making sure you're safe and healthy is the first step."

She paused, glancing over at Agent Byrd, quirking her eyebrow.

"Jay, I got this- you can man the fort here right? Unless you want to take them down…I could still switch out with you if y-"

"_**No!**_ Nononono…uh…no that uh…no I'm good here- I'm SO good here." he babbled moving quickly back behind the desk,

Divya tilted her head.

"Are you sure? I know you don't particularly like the 'festive' uniform for the cover. If you really wanted a break I c-"

"No that's fine- It's good…it's uh r-really growing on me…it's festive, like you said. Go ahead, I got it here…you guys go…do whatever it is you need to do."

She stared at him for a moment, before giving a slightly dismissive shrug,

"Kay, don't say I never offer. Come on guys, right this way." She says opening the break room door, motioning for them to go in.

The four enter the break room, Divya pulling the door behind them. Raphael chuckled, flashing her an impressed wink. Alec quirked his eyebrow, glancing between the two,

"Oh wow…I can't believe I didn't see it…He trained you, didn't he?"

She chuckled, slipping her arm casually around Raphael's shoulders, squeezing faintly,

"Yup taught me everything I know…"

Raphael smirked, shaking his head,

"There's some things you can't teach- you have it or you don't…she does."

Alec's eyes widened slightly, shaking his head, pointing faintly, glancing over at Simon, leaning a bit closer.

"Kay I already kinda knew this, but remind me never to piss her off?"

He gave a slight huff of a laugh, nodding quickly before his steps faltered. He blinked in surprise, glancing around the room in confusion. He took in the dull yellowish walls, coffee stained counter, with the coffee pot that looked like a fire hazard waiting to happen and a second (Possibly third or fourth) hand microwave, the wobbly circular table in the corner and dingy off white fridge along the far wall. He glanced over at Divya, holding up a finger.

"Umm…so…this isn't really what I was thinking so far as a top secret CIA base goes…"

Divya smirked, quirking her eyebrow,

"No?"

Simon glanced around at the ratty break room that made the Storage room at Technorama look downright luxurious.

"Uh…no…"

She tilted her head, reaching over, hitting a few buttons on her watch. Simon startled at what sounded an awful lot like an airlock, the entire fridge, shifting soundlessly, swinging out, revealing a small hidden room with glaringly white, smoothly curved walls and a stainless steel bar at about waist height…which Simon distantly registered as an elevator. He blinked glancing at the others before settling back on Divya,

She smirked, quirking her eyebrow again,

"How bout now?"

Simon swallowed, nodding like a bobble head.

"Uh…y-yeah…t-that's kinda more like it."

Raphael reached up, resting his hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently as they made their way into the elevator, flashing a playfully teasing smirk.

"Well, look on the bright side…this actually fits quite well with the rest of the day."

Simon gave a slight breath of a laugh, nodding,

"And at least by this point I am pretty well past convincing myself this is a dream." he shook his head, glancing around at the CIA Boyscout, the NSA/CIA liaison, and the NSA Assassin who trained said liaison, shaking his head again as the door swung closed again without a sound, room bathed in an odd, near ethereal blue light,

"No way I'm creative to come up with all this…"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* _Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon-Simon_ *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

_Alright…here we go…_

Simon glanced around once more at Raphael, Alec and Divya, taking one last deep breath, giving up on trying to 'prepare' for what the secret CIA underground base would be…

_It's a secret underground base-_ he knows this'll be the most bizarre part of the day so far.

The odd, ethereal blue light seemed to pulsate, apparently signaling the elevators stop. The door slides open silently. Simon blinked, hesitantly stepping out with the rest of the group onto a platform type catwalk running around the circular perimeter of the room. Dotted around the platform Simon could see three hallways along the smooth, curved walls but his eye was drawn to the area below the catwalk; an area that he could only describe as a war room.

_Well maybe a 'War Room' somewhere on the Enterprise._

Rounded smooth curves and edgeless shapes seemed to be the theme here. Everything was crisp, clean white or polished to a gleam chrome. Along the walls he could see multiple stations with people working Smart Desks, clicking away, flicking through images.

_Woah…_

_Okay…umm…good thing he wasn't trying to prepare because there was no preparing for this._

He really needs to ask about the whole Roswell thing at some point. If anything this place makes him even more curious about it than ever. Kinda stood to reason. The entire place looked like a set piece for Men In Black. He's pretty sure the big monitor like thing on the far left side is nearly identical to the one the twins worked at.

Simon shook his head in disbelief, slowly moving over to the odd, glass and chrome looking guard rail/wall type thing running around the edge of the catwalk, eyes taking in the room below.

_Again whoa…_

The center of the room had a huge, oblong table, some kind of perfectly cylindrical projector type thing in the center. Right now it had some softly colored amorphous shape type thing on it, moving, twisting and squishing- it reminded Simon of some bizarre, high tech 3D version of a screen saver… which he was kinda thinking is exactly what it was as none of the agents milling about were paying any particular attention to it, rather just going about their business.

Further out from the odd not quite round table interspersed with the smart table stations there are four almost cubicle looking things. Though not quite 'cubicles' as these follow the theme of the room. They're smooth, half circle type structures, the bottom half clean blazing white, the top above the desk type part a frosted glass kinda thing that Simon didn't think was quite 'glass'. As he looked on one of the people at the structure on the far left hit a few buttons on their computer screen making a little flickering kinda motion, the image jumping from the screen to the frosted not quite glass, expanding along the curved area. Each cubicle station had a large, of course curved computer screen, a pretty expansive desk and…Oh wow…

_Oh my god! Each cubicle thing has a 3D printer!_

Simon blinked again, trying to fight off a near giggle and keep from bouncing on his heels in excitement. This place was just crazy.

Okay…So this whole 'accidental super spy thing' is all kinds of bat crap crazy and terrifying and a whole host of other things, but this? Umm…yeah this kinda replaces a bit of the 'what the hell-ness' with giddy Fanboying. Holograms, smart desks, 3D printers, crazy projections, the space age cubical type things? Yeah, He's basically in computer geek heaven.

_Hmm… Can he maybe float the 'super spy Magic 8 ball thing? _

_If he can just hang out HERE away from the bullets and insanity he'd be okay with this spy thing._

_That could work…right?_

He gave a slightly disbelieving near huff of a laugh, glancing over at Divya curiously. She smirked, quirking her eyebrow.

"So…a bit more what you were expecting?"

Simon laughed, shaking his head,

"Uh no…not exactly. I thought you were taking me to a CIA base- not MIB Head quarters."

Alec groaned, rolling his eyes, giving a faint huff.

"_**Every**__ time_…damnit Rangor."

Simon blinked in confusion, glancing between the three agents.

"Huh?"

Raphael chuckled, giving a smirk and slightly flippant wave.

"Rangor was one of their assets. He eventually got too overwhelmed and left to work in the private sector. Specifically in movie production and set design- he slips all kinds of visuals from his spy days into his works.

It drives the CIA heads nutty but the guy was one of their best and he earned enough respect that so long as he doesn't flat out put up classified information they're stymied.

It's an endless source of annoyance and embarrassment for the CIA." He leaned closer, flashing a wink and a playful smirk that made Simon kinda light headed.

"And an endless source of amusement for the rest of us."

Alec glared, Raphael outright laughed, shifting back to Simon, all but dismissing the other agent, smiling, pretty dark eyes sparkling in amusement, leaning in conspiringly,

"If you can't tell they're kinda an uptight bunch."

Simon blushed faintly, snickering, having to fight off a louder laugh when he caught sight of Alec's expression. Divya chuckled, giving a careless shrug.

"Oh yeah, and of course the NSA is totally relaxed. No one uptight, high strung, or unnervingly trigger happy there…"

Raphael chuckled, giving a conceding shrug,

"Fair enough."

Divya smirked, quirking her eyebrow,

"That reminds me...How is Sunshine? Haven't seen her since I transferred."

Raphael laughed, rolling his eyes near affectionately,

"The usual- Working something with a crazy amount of clearance, next to no forewarning or back up and pretty much flying blind…so you know…pretty much exactly where she wants to be."

Divya laughed brightly, nodding,

"That's good, if you hear she's back in town let me know. We really need to get together again. I don't think we've all been together since that thing in Kiev a few years ago. Might be kinda nice to grab a drink that we don't think is gonna be our last."

He chuckled, nodding,

"Definitely. She's kinda keeping under the radar right now. Don't know what she's working but it's pretty big. She'll probably be back sometime next month though, I'll let her know…

I'd say I'd give her your number but…well…"

Divya snorted,

"It's Sunshine."

He chuckled, giving a slight shrug, nodding, rolling his eyes,

"Yup…"

Simon blinked, glancing over at Alec curiously.

_Huh…_

He may actually look more confused than Simon. Okay no answers there. Simon shifted his gaze over to Raphael, titling his head.

"Umm…who's Sunshine?"

He shook his head faintly, flashing a slightly apologetic smile,

"She's an operative of ours- one of the best, and a very good friend…but that's about all I can tell you. You don't really have clearance for anything more than that…Hell, I don't have high enough clearance for most of the things she works."

Alec blinked in surprise, shaking his head faintly, glancing over at Divya, quirking his eyebrow.

"You have a very odd group of friends…"

Raphael laughed brightly, shaking his head, flashing a near playful smirk,

"Boyscout? You have NO idea."

Divya grinned, winking,

"Eh, keeps life interesting…"

"Sometimes a bit too interesting…" A deep, somewhat amused voice said from just behind them.

Simon turned to see the newcomer. He was a tall man, maybe in his early forties and quite handsome. He had a warm, deeper complexion, surprisingly compassionate brown eyes, and immaculate facial hair. His gaze shifted over the assorted agents before landing on Simon. He flashed a friendly, sympathetic smile, extending his hand.

"Hi Simon, I'm CIA Supervisor Lucian Garroway- Luke's fine."

Simon reached forward, returning the handshake.

"Umm…h-hi…Luke…" He trailed off, somewhat at a loss.

Luke sighed, shaking his head faintly, giving a slightly lost shrug,

"I honestly don't even know where to begin Simon. I can't imagine what all has been going through your head today- everything that you've been bombarded with in just a matter of a few hours…I really can't. I truly am sorry you're having to deal with all this. It never should have happened and we will do everything we can to make this as- well for lack of a better word- untraumatizing as possible.

I'm sure you've been spinning all day, having to face one curveball after another, thinking it can't get any crazier than that only for it to near immediately get even crazier. I know this seems beyond bizarre and probably totally overwhelming but I assure you we have the best team possible working on it.

I'm gonna tell you right now there'll be a lot of people that get caught up with the 'Functioning Intersect' thing. That is huge- totally unprecedented. There are gonna be a LOT of people with a LOT of questions about that. It's probably gonna be kinda overwhelming and at times seem to overshadow near everything else. But I want you to know despite all the focus seemingly being put on the 'Functioning Intersect' bombshell every one of us realizes that you are a civilian. You are a totally blameless innocent in all this and your safety and wellbeing IS a top priority.

I'm sure this seems absolutely terrifying- and…well…that's because to any even remotely sane person it IS. We signed up for this insanity- we knew what we were getting into, at least for the most part. You didn't.

This is totally unprecedented. We don't have any protocols for this kind of thing- there's never _been_ this kind of thing. This will likely be pretty insane- for everyone involved. We are flying blind here and probably largely gonna be making it up as we go along- but that's _okay_. We will work through it. We will do everything we can to keep you safe and find the best outcome possible here…for everyone involved.

Okay?"

Simon blinked in surprise- at both the bombardment of words and the relief he felt at them. Alec, Raphael and Divya had all been surprisingly helpful and comforting in their own ways (Even if one of Raphael's 'ways' was purposefully being a jackass to piss Simon off enough to forget to be scared). They'd all been helpful but none of them seemed to really grasp the 'civilian' part of it.

He'd brought it up- an ANNOYING amount of times- hoping someone would get it, but it seemed to just fall on deaf ears. Luke actually seemed to get it. He genuinely seemed to understand where Simon was coming from

.

It was a relief. For the first time during all of this insanity he felt the little clenching thing in his chest relax, felt like he could really breathe- like someone was really gonna actually listen to all his worries about this- not just assume they'd be able to get past them.

He swallowed, giving a quick nod, reaching forward to shake the man's hand again- just because he felt like it was necessary.

"Yeah…thank you Luke. I really am totally lost here- I don't even know where to begin with all this…I just don't."

Luke chuckled, nodding,

"More than understandable. I think where we're gonna start- assuming it's okay with you- is to have you checked out by our medical team to be sure there's no ill effects of the program. Once we're sure YOU are alright then we can tackle the rest of it.

Are you okay with that Simon?"

He felt himself relax for the first time since the break in. Simon swallowed again, trying to fight off a bit of a choked up feeling. This was the first time during this entire ordeal that someone actually asked what _**he**_ wanted to do…if he was okay with something. It was just a small thing- but god it made all the difference in the world.

For the first time today he felt like he had a tiny bit of control here- a bit of a say in his apparent future. That was huge…

He took a deep breath, blinking a couple times to clear his eyes, nodding.

"Y-yeah…I am."

Luke smiled, giving a slight nod, reaching up, resting his hand on Simon's shoulder, squeezing gently, beginning to move, Raphael, Alec and Divya falling into step behind them.

"Thank you Simon…Med's down the hallway here…" He paused, glancing over, quirking his eyebrow,

"So I have to ask- I really am curious…what's been going through your mind most today?"

Simon glanced over, giving a slightly thready laugh, rolling his eyes, waving animatedly,

"You mean besides 'Oh my god I'm gonna die', 'I hope this is just be a nice, safe drugging' and 'Oh Crap'?"

Luke chuckled, nodding,

Simon snorted, holding up a finger,

"NEVER open an unknown download."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* _End of Chapter Notes_ *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Yay! I wasn't even planning on having Divya here but I really like the older version of her Well I actually like all versions of her…she was my very 1st OC (I don't count Dax, he sucks and is an evil/creepy/villainous jackass depending on what the Verse calls for- sometimes all of the above…okay most of the time all of the above). I think she's gonna be a fun addition to the group and having someone familiar with both Raphael AND Alec will really help.

Okay last half kinda meandered a lot but I like it. I know Simon's emotions were all over the place here but…well…it's A LOT to process.

I like Luke being so understanding…I think that will help a lot.

Anyways what do you guys think so far?

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*** 26 ***


	8. Chapter 8- Meet the Neighbors

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_**Chapter 8:**_

_**Meet The Neighbors**_

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _*~Simon ~*~ Simon ~*~Simon ~*~ Simon ~*~ Simon~*_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

_Oh my god…that is SO freaky._

This is weirder than the high speed chase, spies and counter spies, stupidly pretty assassin and everything else. That…right there…is his brain…floating in the middle of the exam table. Okay so technically it's a scarily realistic 3D projection of his brain but dude- his is literally LOOKING at his own brain floating in mid air.

And it doesn't look like a hologram or a picture or whatever else- it's not see through or glowing or anything else to show that it's not real. It doesn't look like a projection- it looks like you could reach out and touch it. It's that odd, unsettling pinkish color overlaid with yellow, green and blue flashes and flickers showing brain activity.

That is his brain…randomly levitating above an exam table.

This may kinda put a damper on his fascination with the whole 3D Projection thing…apparently there IS such a thing as too advanced Tech.

"Hmm…."

"Hmm? What's 'Hmm'? What does 'Hmm' mean?" Simon asked shifting over, trying to get a better view of the section Dr. Imari was scrutinizing as if he'd have any clue what to look for.

She sighed softly, clearly fighting the urge to roll her eyes, placatingly holding her hand up.

"'Hmm' means nothing, just a random thinking sound I make. Everything looks pretty normal a-"

"_Pretty Normal?!_ What's 'pretty normal' mean?"

"Simon I get that this is scary but if you ask the meaning of every sound, expression and phrase she is never going to get through her review." Alec offered gently, flashing a compassionate smile, shifting back to the Doctor.

"Sorry Doctor, he's just a bit worked up, please continue."

She smiled, waving him off.

"More than alright Agent Lightwood- certainly understandable." She paused shifting her focus back to Simon.

"You're fine Mr. Lewis- everything looks exactly how we'd expect given the circumstances."

Raphael quirked his eyebrow, shifting closer to Simon's side, dark gaze pinning Dr. Imari.

"And what does that mean?"

Alec gave a slightly irritated sigh, Simon pointed animatedly towards Raphael.

"Hey this time it was him- But since it was asked, 'Given the circumstances'? That is not a comforting qualifier."

Dr. Imari gave a slight nod.

"I realize that but it's the best phrasing I can think of once again 'given the circumstances.' I want to say again I truly believe you are perfectly fine- perfectly healthy- there will be no ill effects from the program-"

"Meaning it ran successfully?" Raphael interrupted.

"From what I'm seeing here it's a near certainty."

Simon swallowed, shaking his head faintly, looking over the projection.

"H-how do you know?"

She nodded, moving towards the projection, motioning for him to follow suit. He hesitantly slipped over next to her. She smiled gently shifting her focus back to the projection.

"The hippocampus is showing a marked increase in activity. The increase is exactly what we posited seeing in the beginning phase of a functioning Intersect."

"Beginning Phase?" Alec interrupted, Raphael quirked his eyebrow pointedly but Alec ignored it, continuing on.

"What do you mean 'Phase'? I thought it was a one and done kinda thing?"

Doctor Imari tilted her head.

"Not exactly-"

"So if it's just in the 'beginning phase' can it be stopped? Reversed maybe?" Simon asked hopefully.

She sighed, shaking her head.

"Honestly I highly doubt it, at least right now. In order to reverse or stop something we'd have to first know how and why it worked to begin with- otherwise just randomly meddling could end up triggering the reactions we saw in the tests. That is the last thing any of us want. If we can find out why the program worked for you when it didn't in any of the test runs then maybe we could find a way to safely reverse it. Until then I would not risk meddling with it."

He deflated, giving a slight, near imperceptible nod.

"Oh yeah…that makes sense…So…umm… what happens after the beginning phase?"

She gave a slight sigh and an apologetic shrug, meeting Simon's gaze.

"Well that's kind of the question.

As I said we have never had anywhere close to a successful trial run; this is all purely theoretical. The best we can do is follow the theorized trajectory of a successful, functioning Intersect. In that regard this is exactly on track with what we predicted. As of right now the activity in the hippocampus is just a bit higher than normal but despite the assertions of the initial plan for the HTPN it was never to be an instant fix- only in comparison to years or decades to acquire the knowledge.

The program would actually take nearly three months to reach its full potential. This is purposeful- a way to let the brain and body adjust to the changes the program causes. The brain is very adaptable but can also be quite sensitive to sudden, drastic changes. The gradual build up allows both the persons mind as well as their body to adequately adjust to the effect of the program. Kind of like wading into a pool slowly rather than cannonballing into the deep end. Much less of a risk of a shock to the system.

It's likely over the next three months the brain activity will increase incrementally each day until it reaches the final level during which the HTPN program will fully take effect.

Theoretically at that time you'll be able to learn to access the program at will- though how exactly is still very much speculative."

Simon blinked, holding up a finger.

"I-so…wait…this…it doesn't just add information it actually _alters_ my brain? Like rewrites its code?" He looked from the doctor over to the others.

"None of you told me that."

Alec shook his head.

"I didn't know."

Raphael shook his head faintly.

"Neither did I…although it should have been pretty obvious-" He paused, glancing back over at Simon, flashing a slightly apologetic smile, amending.

"Well, to those of us who've been in the loop on this program for more than half a day. Really that's the only way it could work. So what else can y-"

Simon swallowed, wrapping his arms around himself, looking somewhat shell shocked. Dr. Imari picked right back up, continuing with her explanation, but he couldn't really focus, the chatter turning to little more than white noise. He gave up even pretending to follow along, moving over kind of slumping in the chair along the wall, just trying to focus on his breathing…

Really what's it matter anyways? He can't do a damn thing about what's happening and he's sure they'll rehash it a million times; missing it once wasn't going to change anything. Besides what's the actual point of listening? These are theories- he's gonna be living the reality of it. As they speak this program was altering his brain…

T-that…he didn't know how to handle that…

What would it change? Would he still think the same? Feel the same? Will he still be the same person? He knows he has his flaws, that he's a lot to take but he likes who he is. It took him a long time and a lot of work to get there, to just be happy exactly how he is. But he is. Right now he is…he doesn't want that to change.

I mean yeah the government info dump thing was insane, the spyware/brain download thing was insane…but…but they're saying it's not just adding information…it is _literally_ altering his brain. Will be continually for months…t-that is scarier than anything else he's had to contend with today.

What all will it change? What if it changes something and he doesn't like video games and Scifi and all of that anymore!? And god that's such a stupid thing to focus on but he doesn't know who he'd be without all of that…

_What i-_

He startles at a hand on his shoulder, head whipping up looking around, gaze falling on Raphael…who's the only person still in the room with him. He shakes his head faintly glancing around in confusion.

"What?"

"Dr. Imari finished her explanation- Luke, Alec and Divya had something to work on- figuring out a cover for Alec going forward, I told them I'd just wait here till you came back around. I m-"

"Dude, Raphael please…if you're gonna try to piss me off to keep me from panicking just no…

No…I can't deal with that right now…I really can't."

He sighed, pulling the other chair over, settling next to Simon, squeezing his shoulder gently.

"I wasn't going to. I'm sorry- I know you were hoping it was a fluke…that the program didn't work or wouldn't take."

Simon shook his head, looking up worriedly.

"It's not even that anymore. The program isn't just doing a weird info dump thing- it is _literally_ altering my brain- rewriting it…and you guys don't even know what that means, what the effects will be. Yeah you have theories and all that but this isn't 'theoretical' for me. This is my life- my mind, maybe everything about me could be completely changed overnight.

Yeah I sarcastically asked if it could fix my babbling and clumsiness and all that and if it does hey- awesome- but what else will it change? Will I still like the same music, or movies or scifi or video games or all the rest?" He sighed, shaking his head, agitatedly pushing his hair back.

"And…okay…I know that sounds like a stupid thing to worry about compared to all the rest but it's not. Not to me. How much of me is going to change? How much can change before I'm not really 'me' anymore?

I like who I am right now and oh my god, you really have no idea how hard I had to work to get to that point. Just to be myself and be comfortable with what that means, it took me years, but I am…or I have been…but now? Will I still be able to say that tomorrow, or next week, next month?

I don't know…and neither do you guys…

It terrifies me that this Intersect-whatever is rewriting my brain, could change everything about me and there's not a damn thing me or anyone else can do about it.

Look, I'm not stupid alright? I know this is going to be beyond crazy. It's gonna be insane and terrifying and in all likelihood will lead to my death. Honestly I think my odds of making it as a spy are about the same as a snowballs chance in hell-actually I'm pretty sure the snowball has a better shot- but even with all that I kind of figured through it all I'd still be well…_me_…And yeah I know 'me' is kinda the issue but even so I don't want that to change. I don't want to have to give up being me."

Raphael sighed, giving a faint shrug.

"Well while this seems pretty daunting I know the program isn't designed to brainwash someone- it's not supposed to alter someone's thinking or personality, just give them knowledge and adjust their minds enough to handle the added mental activity, that's all."

Simon glanced over.

"You're sure?"

Raphael nodded, leaning in.

"Yes, I'm sure. Dr. Imari explained it in more detail but that is one thing she was adamant about. This isn't mind control or personality altering or any of that. The changes are strictly to allow the brain to process the training boost, that's it."

Simon took a deep breath, relaxing faintly, nodding.

"Okay…good…that's the first good news I got today."

Raphael sighed, expression flickering, apologetically tilting his head.

"That being said program or not this will likely change you quite a bit, though that's unavoidable. I mean we all change a little near every day. Every experience we have, interaction, every last detail of our lives can change us somehow.

Most of the time it's something small, things you barely even notice but then you get the big things; the ones that turn everything on its head and have the ability to throw everything you ever thought you knew out the window. Honestly being a spy those 'out the window' events? They will become a near weekly- if not daily- occurrence.

It might make you question a lot of things; your view of the world, of others, your limits, values, your perception of right and wrong. All of those are shaped by your experiences- and from here on out you're gonna have a LOT of new experiences. That doesn't mean it's all gonna be bad and it doesn't mean you're gonna lose everything- you are still going to love the people you love, you'll still like your favorite foods and shows and music…you will still be you…just a slightly different version of you."

Simon sighed, slumping faintly.

"Yeah…I get that…but what if I wake up one day and realize I don't like the version I become? What do you do then?"

Raphael shrugged,

"Then you take a deep breath, figure out where you went wrong, where you want to be and then you do everything in your power to get to the version of you you like again."

Simon swallowed, giving a hopeless gesture.

"Yeah that sounds simple enough in theory but I get the feeling theory and reality are two very different things here. I mean how would you actually go about doing that? How would you even begin?"

Raphael gave a soft huff of a laugh, shrugging.

"Well in my case I marched into the NSA headquarters and offered to turn states evidence…but I don't think that really applies here."

Simon blinked, looking over in confusion.

"What?"

He shook his head, flashing a slight, kind of far off smile.

"It is a very tangled, _**very**_ long, very bleak story. Somehow I don't think we really need that right now. If we ever have a time when we're actually in too good of a mood and need an instant downer then maybe I'll tell you."

"Wha-"

He shook his head again, reaching over, resting his hand on Simon's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Simon…look…we don't always get a choice as to where we end up in life. Sometime you just have to play the hand your dealt and make the best of it. We don't get a say in what we face or how the things we face affect us. We can try to control it as much as possible but sometimes it's just out of our hands.

This Intersect thing? Right now there's nothing we can do about it. It's insane and terrifying and completely mind boggling…but it's there. It is and it's not going anywhere anytime soon so we have to find a way to work with it… and we will. I know this is terrifying but whatever we run into, near guaranteed I've made it though worse. I got you…okay?"

Simon gave a soft huff of a laugh, glancing up, eyebrow quirking, the slightest trace of a smile tugging at his lips.

"You got me, huh?"

Raphael smirked, flashing a quick wink, nudging his shoulder.

"Yup I do. And odds are I'm scarier than whatever we come up against."

Simon snorted, shaking his head, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah…of course you are…"

Raphael quirked his eyebrow in surprise, smirking near playfully.

"Hey if you don't believe me we can get Byrd down here- I'll call him right now…" he fished his phone out, beginning to scrawl through the contacts.

Simon laughed, waving him off.

"Don't torment the poor guy! He's jumpy enough- he made ME look put together."

"I wouldn't go _that_ far…"

"Hey! Thought the jackass thing was just for when I was too scared?"

"Eh…it's very versatile…"

Simon groaned, shaking his head, rubbing at his temple.

"That's gonna get old real fast."

"Not for me…"

"Ugh w-"

They're interrupted by the door opening Divya, Alec and Luke slipping back in. Divya looked over them, casting a slightly smug look back at the other two agents before shifting over to Simon flashing an approving smile.

"Ah good Simon's back with us…told you guys Raph could handle it. Just in time too. We've figured out Alec's cover. He'll be able to keep you safe without arousing undue suspicion about the random dude suddenly hanging around. Should work perfectly all around."

Simon blinked in surprise.

"Wow that was quick…sounds perfect… what's the cover?"

Divya smirked.

"So Alec mentioned you have been looking for a roommate?"

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _*~Simon ~*~ Simon ~*~Simon ~*~ Simon ~*~ Simon~*_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

"And then there's a bowl on the table by the door to set your keys in right underneath the light sabers."

Alec blinked, glancing around the living room once more giving a slight nod.

"Uh huh…that's umm…smart…easy to find."

Simon nodded, shifting awkwardly. Finally he sighed, giving an unsure shrug.

"Alec, I really don't know about this…I mean I'm not gonna lie I'm a lot to deal with- and that's just like in normal doses, with adequate brakes and all that. You seriously think you're gonna be okay actually living with me?"

Alec shrugged, glancing curiously around the place, settling in next to Simon by the kitchen island.

"Well…it's probably gonna be a bit of an adjustment but it does makes sense. I need to be able to keep an eye on you, keep you safe- especially right now. We know the Collective knows where you live, they're gonna probably assume you're under protection by now but I don't want to leave anything to chance. If we live together me just suddenly being around all the time doesn't seem so out of place. The only other option we'd come up with is for us to pretend to be a couple- and probably a pretty clingy, sappy couple at that to explain how often I was around."

Simon blinked, holding up a finger.

"Uh, on second thought; roommates works."

Alec chuckled, nodding.

"Kinda figured you'd say that. I think it'll work okay-it'll be an adjustment but I'm pretty adaptable, I think we'll be fine- and having an agent actually living here means you'll have back up pretty much round the clock.

In any case this is a hell of a lot better than Divya's original idea."

"What was her original idea?"

"Same as this one, only her buddy 'Raph' would be your roommate."

Simon startled, flushing faintly.

"Umm…like me and Raphael living together?"

"Yup…"

Simon flushed brighter, shaking his head quickly.

"Umm…y-yeah uh…t-this'll probably work better. That would be all kinds of awkward."

Alec chuckled, nodding.

"That's putting it mildly. Can't believe I'm working a joint mission with THE Phoenix- I'm practically partners with him. _**Partners!**_ I would have never thought he'd agree to something like that. I don't even know anyone who's ever actually seen him."

"Except Divya…"

Alec huffed, giving a flippant wave.

"I know! What the hell's up with that? I've known her for over a year- she's an excellent agent, one of the best I've ever worked with but how did I NOT know this? I've never heard of her working with 'the Phoenix'. Hell, she not only worked with him- he TRAINED her! He's one of her best, most trusted friends. And she mentions Raph all the time; like ALL the time. They're always texting or trading little jokes or venting to each other or whatever else. I had no idea that's who she was talking about."

Simon shrugged.

"Well as you didn't even know his actual name can't really blame you for not putting it together…and I get the feeling it's not something she just broadcasts to everyone- probably why they ARE friends, he knows he can trust her. Kinda get the feeling that doesn't happen a lot with him."

Alec snorted, nodding quickly.

"Oh no question there..." he trailed off, shaking his head, slumping slightly against the island, glancing back up, meeting Simon's gaze.

"Simon? I really have no clue how this is gonna go. I mean thankfully his orders are to just apprehend Jace but even so…I do not like the idea of working so closely with him. Byrd's reaction may have been slightly over the top but it's basically the general reaction to someone when confronted with 'The Phoenix'...and that's the ones on the same side of the law as him. These are well versed, experienced agents; they're not given to blind panic and overreaction. If they're 'twitchy' around him there's a damn good reason for it.

Honestly the guy may actually worry me more than The Collective."

Simon gave a slightly noncommittal shrug.

"I don't know…he doesn't actually seem that bad. Maybe that's more reputation than anything else. I mean the rep definitely seems to work in his favor, maybe he just plays it up a lot, you know like using it to his advantage? Seems like it'd fit with him."

Alec shook his head.

"Uh no…it's not. He may play it to the hilt when it's useful but it's not just bluffing or playi-"

"No I know it's not 'bluffing'- I literally saw the guy take out seven people then subdue three more with a smirk and an eyebrow raise. I get that the dude's dangerous. But I mean…he's a government agent- that's basically part of the job description; he kind of has to be right?

I mean given the right circumstances the same could probably be said about you…couldn't it?"

Alec blinked in surprise, giving a slightly conceding nod.

"I…well…yeah but…"

"Hey I'm not saying I think the guy's like a harmless little puppy under all the intimidating, terrifying eye flashes and stupidly hot smirks - that his bark is worse than his bite or whatever. Kinda get the feeling for all the 'bark' the 'bite's like WAY worse in this case…

I'm just saying maybe there's more to the guy than what you've heard."

Alec quirked his eyebrow, smirking near teasingly.

"Like being 'Stupidly hot'?"

Simon groaned, blushing faintly, frantically waving him off.

"Oh come on, you're not calling me out on that."

"Why am I even surprised? You mentioned it like five times."

"_I did not!"_

Alec chuckled, eyes sparking teasingly, beginning to tick them off on his fingers.

"The model comment, when you were yelling at him, w-"

"Okay! Maybe it was that much and shut up- it's not like a compliment, it's just a statement of fact- just cause I think the guy's hot doesn't mean anything…except that I have functioning eyes. It's irrelevant - A lot of people are hot: Kevin's hot, Mags is hot, you're hot...being hot doesn't blind me to everything else about someone.

I mean yeah the guy's hot…but he's also pretty funny- in a kinda dark way, a bit of a jackass…but it's weirdly entertaining, and he knows pop culture enough to get my references and he's very intelligent, and deep, and while he may not have your specific set of morals he does have his own which I get the feeling he holds to just as much as you."

Alec quirked his eyebrow.

"Huh…maybe you would have preferred to live with him."

Simon huffed giving a totally ineffectual glare.

"Yeah cause this isn't complicated enough already…no thanks. Look…I'm not saying the guy's a saint okay? All I'm saying is maybe he's more complicated than you- all of you- have been led to believe.

Besides first off I don't think we have a say in this arrangement either way so may as well just lean into the insanity rather than fight it, and two, pretty sure we're a hell of a lot better working with him than trying to work against him- cause no offense dude- but I think we'd kinda be screwed there."

Alec snorted, nodding quickly.

"Uh yeah…definitely agree there. I just think we need to be careful here. He doesn't seem anywhere near as terrifying as I thought he'd be…but that in and of itself kinda worries me even more."

Simon slumped against the counter next to Alec, giving a huff of a laugh, nodding animatedly.

"You and me both dude…I've literally SEEN the guy take out or subdue ten dangerous, terrifying agents like it was nothing- like it was a game…

And I keep getting distracted by the pretty eyes, and sexy smirk and cute little smile and winks.

I know how dangerous the guy is- I mean I probably actually have no idea just how dangerous he can be but I've literally seen him take a life- _several_ lives- and react as if it was nothing. He is a killer- a _**professional**_ killer; I should be absolutely terrified to even be in the same room as him. I should feel twitchy and nervous and jumpy around him, want to get away from the guy as soon as possible…but I don't…if anything it's the opposite.

I know you're worried about working with him but I'm kind of relieved…I feel safer knowing we have him watching our backs."

"Yeah but part of that could be the that he did save your life-"

"_Our lives."_

Alec tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"Our lives…but that actually might be a factor here. Someone saving a person's life can cause a type of hero worship or transference, making them have a romanticized view of the rescuer. Honestly that's probably why you're so comfortable with him, so apt to trust him despite what you know about the man..."

"I don't think it's t-"

"I'm not saying that all it is- you could be totally right; there could be a lot more to the man than I've heard. Don't get me wrong I am grateful for the save too- I know without a doubt neither of us would be standing here if it wasn't for the man. But you have to remember; it wasn't just out of the kindness of his heart- it was part of his job and likely a largely tactical move.

He was listening in, had been monitoring me-us- the entire day. He knew about the possibility of you being a functioning Intersect. I'm not saying that's the only reason he did- I doubt the man would just stand by and let someone be killed- I'm just saying it is a factor.

I know you're grateful to the man for saving your life, I am too, I just hope you don't let that blind you to the reality of the situation."

Simon shook his head.

"I know what you're saying Alec but I really don't think it's just that. I mean you saved my life today too; I don't have some 'romanticized' view of you…Oh, umm…no offense."

Alec chuckled, waving him off.

"None taken- actually as we're living together I'm kinda really good with that. This is gonna be weird and complicated enough- really don't think we need to add awkward crushes to the mix as well."

Simon laughed, nodding.

"Oh definitely not…trust me I'll add more than enough awkward as it is, definitely don't need fangirl like crush awkwardness too."

Alec tilted his head in confusion.

"Fangirl?"

Simon gave a slight groan.

"Oh dude…"

"Wha-"

They both startle at the sound of a key in the door.

"Hey Simon Mags is running late- shocker- he'll be here in about half an hour- did you know someone was mov-oh…umm…hello…?" Kevin trailed off, eyes landing on Alec, blinking in confusion before shifting curiously over to Simon.

"Kevin! Hi! Umm…I forgot you were coming over. Hey good news I actually found a new roommate! This is N…"

"Alec…from yesterday morning at the store…I remember..."

_Oh crap! He forgot Kev was there! What does h-_

Alec flashed a warm, relaxed smile and a casual wave.

"Hey again Kevin, good to see you."

"You too…So you come by the store yesterday then you're suddenly Simon's new roommate…small world huh?"

Alec chuckled faintly, fidgeting giving a halfhearted shrug.

"Uh yeah…not really that small. Sorry about the weirdness yesterday didn't mean to freak you guys out,"

Kevin tilted his head, crossing his arms, eyebrow quirking.

"Well you kinda _did_…and FYI? 'This' doesn't really help that…like at all."

Alec nodded, holding his hand up placatingly.

"I know- again sorry- that wasn't my intention, it was just the best way to make sure I didn't run into the same issues with this roommate as my last one. Or the one before that…"

Kevin blinked in confusion.

"Huh?"

Alec shrugged, giving a bit of a sheepish smile and self deprecating chuckle, scratching nervously at the back of his neck.

"I-Okay this probably sounds really obnoxious and braggy but it's really not- just the last couple people I've ended up sharing a place with have kind of ended up getting infatuated and tried to turn the living together/ friendship type thing into a romantic thing. Add in the fact that I can be kinda oblivious about certain things and I don't generally catch on until it's way too far along to where they think we're an actual couple and I have to figure out how to break up with someone I was never even actually dating…at least so far as I knew…i-it just gets really awkward really fast."

Kevin gave a surprised laugh, eyes widening, shaking his head.

"S-sorry I didn't mean to laugh- but…like this has happened to you more than once?"

Alec huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah three times so far…well four if you count a friend in high school who thought we were dating all of junior year- And I thought coming out to my parents would be the most uncomfortable part…

Anyways it just kinda seems to happen and It's annoying and awkward and leads to all kinds of complications and me feeling like crap for dumping someone I never even thought I was dating and it just…I really didn't want to have to deal with it again.

I saw the ad and it looked like a great place but I didn't want that pattern to start up again. In the ad Simon had mentioned he worked as a nerdhearder. I figured if I dropped by and met the guy I could kind of feel him out make sure he wasn't interested then we could start on equal footing, you know?"

Kevin snickered, shaking his head.

"Dude…you really thought like blatantly hitting on a guy was a way to tell he WASN'T into you? What if he was? Were you just gonna say 'psych' or…?"

Alec blinked, blushing faintly.

"Umm…I…yeah I may not have thought it all the way through- Though I know I wouldn't have done anything like that. I'm kinda oblivious, not a total jackass."

"Good to know. So, when are you moving in?"

Alec shrugged, giving a kind of hopeful near pleading look, glancing between the two.

"Actually like I told Simon I was kind of hoping for today-"

Kevin quirked his eyebrow.

"That's pretty fast?"

Alec nodded.

"I know probably seems kinda desperate but…well…that's cause I sort of AM. That with my roommate- well the last one- happened almost two months ago and I just couldn't see bothering friends or family to crash at their houses indefinitely- especially since I already had to do it twice before- so I've just been staying at hotels but that's eating away at my savings pretty quickly."

Simon finally seemed to snap out of it, catching up, he laughed, giving a quick, bobble head like nod.

"Yeah he explained all of it in his apology- and his repeated assurance he wasn't some creepy stalker like I thought when he showed up today in answer to the ad."

Alec chuckled,

"Hey I said I was sorry- I didn't mean to freak you out, I was just kinda desperate and grasping at straws. Seriously I need to find a place soon and make it work. I can't have to move AGAIN; I'm already getting weird looks in the personal office when I go to update my home address. Pretty sure at least one of them thinks I'm in hiding."

Simon laughed, nodding.

"I'd almost bet on it. Anyways I told him I get it- well, not the accidently dating people without realizing it, but the awkward misunderstandings? Yeah totally my wheelhouse. I know it seems pretty quick but his references are great, we seem to get along well and really the sooner I can find a roommate the sooner I can get caught up on the payments. It's already two months behind, I don't want to fall too much more. At the end of next week will be three, I think that'd be pushing it. The only other options are the Med student/taxidermist who should probably be on a watch list or the dude with the five foot, carnivorous lizard. Both of those seem like the start of an episode of Without A Trace so…umm…yeah…think Alec here's the way to go."

Kevin laughed giving a slight nod.

"Uh yeah think you're right on that- besides apparently today's the day for moving in anyways."

"What do you mean?" Simon asked.

Kevin smiled, perking up a bit, nodding animatedly.

"That's what I was saying when I was coming in- looks like you're getting a new neighbor. Someone's moving into the place on the other side of the courtyard."

_Oh crap…that cannot be a coincidence…_

Simon swallowed, blinking in surprise, fidgeting slightly.

"Really? The Whitmore place? Wow…that's pretty crazy. It's been open for nearly two years- thought it was tied up in probate- would be for several more years." He paused, glancing over catching Alec's eye kind of nervously.

Alec gave a barely discernible nod, pushing off the kitchen island, moving subtly closer to the door, trying to get a bit of a visual. Kevin continued oblivious to the sudden tension between the other two.

"I know! Guess they got it settled, anyways I ran into the guy out front, seemed pretty nice said he was new in town didn't really know anyone here yet, asked if it'd be okay if he came by just to introduce himself- an…"

They startle at a light knock at the door. Kevin chuckled, tilting his head towards the door.

"Huh speak of the devil, must be him…"

He began to move towards the door. Simon startled, scrambling closer, eyes wide, Alec moved smoothly quickly slipping between Kevin and the door.

"You know that n…umm…" Alec leaned over looking out the window trailing off, sending a slight wave Simon's way, at once uncoiling and tensing in an altogether different way.

_Well…that's odd…wonder what could cause tha-_

Alec plastered on a fake smile, eyes widening at Simon, grabbing the knob, pulling the door open, revealing already all too familiar gorgeously deep espresso eyes and a way too cute near playful smile.

_Yup…that'd do it…_

Simon blinked in confusion, shaking his head faintly.

"Wha-"

Raphael stepped forward, flashing a soft, almost shy smile and the slightest twinkle of a wave, brushing his hair back almost nervously, glancing between the three of them, lingering on Simon before shifting back almost unsure to Kevin.

"Uh…hi…hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Kevin flashed a bright smile, moving closer, resting his hand on Raphael's shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

"Hey Raphael, no you're not- perfect timing, come on in." Kevin smiled once more, pushing the door closed, tugging Raphael further into the living room, glancing between Simon and Alec.

"Guys? This is Raphael- he just moved in across the way. Raphael? These are your new neighbors, my best friend and his apparent new roommate Alec- he's just moving in today too."

Raphael blinked in surprise, giving a soft chuckle, settling a bit closer, pretty dark eyes sparkling near playfully.

"Wow…small world, huh?"

_Was that coincidental or…?_

Alec shrugged, flashing a- clearly fake- smile.

"So it would seem…Good to meet you…Raphael was it?" He reached forward catching his hand, shaking firmly.

"Yes…good to meet you Rick."

"Alec."

"Right, right sorry…not that great with names." Raphael murmured, giving a falsely apologetic shrug, dark eyes sparking challengingly, smile slipping from playful to something else that sent a nervous little shiver down Simon's spine. He tilted his head in acknowledgment, returning the handshake, squeezing back- clearly with a fair bit more force than necessary, neither apparently willing to be the first to back down.

Simon had to bite back a groan or thoroughly exasperated eye-roll.

_Okay he needed to break up this passive aggressive macho intimidation crap before he heard something snap._

"Umm hi…I'm here too…" Simon interjected, stepping closer, smiling a bit too brightly, giving a slightly dorky wave.

Raphael seemed to near startle, gaze slipping from Alec over to Simon. He blinked seemingly in surprise, eyes flickering over Simon, lingering faintly before shifting back up to his eyes, letting go of Alec's hand turning more towards Simon.

_Oh…umm…m-maybe he should have just let them continue the whole alpha male crap…_

Raphael shifted a bit closer, flashing a far warmer, near inviting smile that kinda made Simon's head spin, and his knees weak, meeting Simon's gaze. He reached forward catching Simon's hand, squeezing gently, lingering, thumb lightly caressing Simon's knuckle. Simon swallowed nervously, subconsciously shifting closer. Raphael's smile picked up just a bit at the corner's eye's flickering curiously.

"Of course, apologies…Hello, Raphael Santiago…and you are?"

"Umm…I…uh…"

Simon gulped, mind totally blanking.

_Crap! Seriously?! His __**name**__\- it's not a hard question!_

_What w-_

"_Simon…"_ Kevin whispered.

"Simon! Um…J-Simon Lewis…hi Raphael."

Raphael chuckled softly, tugging Simon in a little bit closer, again lightly squeezing his hand.

"Hello Simon Lewis…It is very nice to meet you."

Simon gave a near giggle of a laugh, blushing lightly, eyebrow quirking near playfully.

"Thought you weren't good with names?"

Raphael smirked, giving a careless shrug.

"I remember the important ones."

Simon blushed brighter, glancing away, nervously clearing his throat.

"Um…wow…that's uh-"

Kevin laughed softly, eyes sparking near calculatingly.

"Hey guys know it's kinda last minute but me, Simon and our friend Magnus are having a movie marathon- well…_we're_ not Scifi channel is, all the Sharknado movies. They're truly horrible but we all kinda have a soft spot for super cheesy monster movies it starts at 7. Mags was putting us in an order for dinner, I can text him to add more if you guys want to join?"

Alec shook his head slightly.

"Oh umm…that sounds great but I really wanted to get my stuff moved in today and I'm sure Raphael needs to do the same thing…thanks for the offer though another night definitely."

Raphael gave a slight shrug.

"Actually I'm all moved in."

"You are?" Simon asked.

Raphael shrugged.

"I'm pretty well organized- it helps, I'm actually all set up. I would love to stay…well…If you don't mind of course?" he paused, flashing a near hopeful smile.

Simon faltered, swallowing.

"Oh um…yeah you're welcome to come."

"Great."

"Yeah…great…" Alec muttered, flashing another totally fake smile.

"So umm wha-"

They're interrupted by the door opening,

"Sorry darlings I'm not just fashionably late I'm j…oh…well…"

Magnus trailed off, blinking in surprise, eyes shifting over the four men, near startling when his gaze falls on Alec. He froze, sharp dark eyes, widening faintly, traveling slowly down than all the way back up Alec. He relaxed, head tilting, reaching up tucking a lock of glossy, violet tinted hair behind his ear, fingers trailing down, worrying the glimmering dragon earcuff, a slow, excited smirk tugging at his lips.

"Well hello there..."

Alec blinked, flushing lightly, giving a near Simon-like wave.

"Umm-h-hi…"

Magnus's smirk widened, slipping closer, glancing from Alec over to the others, quirking his eyebrow at Raphael.

"Hello, Magnus Bane."

Raphael smirked, giving a relaxed little half wave, and an annoyingly cool acknowledging head tilt.

"Hey, Raphael Santiago."

Magnus flashed a welcoming smile to him, gaze flickering quickly back to Simon before zeroing back in on Alec.

"Making new friends Simon? I approve…" he murmured gaze again slowly slipping over Alec, giving a soft purr-like sigh.

"I approve a LOT…

And who might you be gorgeous?"

Alec gulped, blinking.

"Umm…"

Simon leaned over, just barely managing to fight off a laugh.

"_Alec…"_

Alec startled, blinking in confusion.

"Huh? Oh uh y-yeah. My name, uh, Alec that's, umm…Lightwood, Alec Lightwood, h-hi…Magnus." he trailed off, glancing away blushing clear to his ears.

Simon had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing, Kevin's right there with him, Raphael coughed faintly, hand subtly slipping up, covering his mouth, but his eyes are sparking bright with laughter. Magnus smirked brighter, slinking close, eyes flashing excitedly.

"Well hello Alec…hmm…is that short for Alexander by any chance?"

Alec faltered, blushing somehow even more, quickly nodding, scratching nervously at the back of his neck.

"Umm…w-well yes… but umm…I don't usually go by that- I really don't like it."

Magnus pouted exaggeratedly,

"Oh but it's such a very pretty name...does that mean I can't call you Alexander?"

Alec gulped, shrugging, nervously brushing his hair back.

"I…well…I mean…I guess…if you really wanted to…it's just…usually the only people who call me that are my parents- and even than it's generally when they're disappointed in me, so you know…."

Magnus shrugged.

"Well then clearly I am just going to have to change that, won't I _Alexander?" _

Alec blush deepened again creeping up tingeing his ears bright pink, giving something far closer to a giggle than Simon would have ever expected to hear from the man.

"Um…that's umm..w…H-How'd you know that was my name?"

"I'm psychic…" Magnus smirked playfully, giving a dramatic little wave.

Alec laughed nervously, a bit too loud, shaking his head.

"No you're not…"

"You sure about that, Alexander?"

Alec gave a slightly breathless laugh, nodding.

"Yes…I'm sure…"

"You're _sure_ sure?"

"Yes…I am sure."

"Positive?"

"Positive." Alec chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

Magnus shrugged, slinking closer, glancing up at Alec through his lashes, an impish smirk tugging at his shimmery blue violet lips.

"Bet I can guess what you're thinking…"

_Wow…did not know a person could turn that bright of color…_

"Is there a way NOT to know what he's thinking?" Raphael whispered leaning closer, just loud enough for Simon to hear.

Simon gave a surprised just barely muffled laugh, trying to cover it with a cough, nodding animatedly.

"I wish…"

Raphael gave a huff of a laugh, catching his eye, nodding back.

"Okay then!" Kevin said loudly, clapping his hand, startling the others, getting their attention, flashing a bright smile.

"So shows start in less than an hour we need to go get our order- and put in another one as we have two more joining us- so we really should get moving. Mags and I will go get the food, while we're doing that you all can get some of Alec's stuff moved in and maybe get him back to a color that doesn't signify a possible heath concern? Kay? Okay…

Come on Mags…" Kevin rushed out, moving towards the door, holding it open expectantly.

Magnus rolled his eyes at Kevin, glancing over at Alec, flashing a flirty little smile and a twinkling wave.

"See you soon gorgeous." He glanced over at Simon, winking,

"Talk me up Simon!"

Simon nodded, waving him towards the door. Magnus flashed one more flirty smirk, turning all but slinking towards the door. Alec gulped, eyes trailing over the man, kind of dumbfounded _(Simon saw that look a lot around Magnus)_ . He moved towards the door, pausing, glancing back over his shoulder. Alec's eyes slowly moved back up, he startled realizing he'd been caught blatantly staring, cheeks again brightening, quickly glancing away.

"S-sorry…" Alec mumbled, hesitantly looking back up, meeting his eyes sheepishly.

Magnus gave a soft chuckle and a careless shrug, winking.

"I'm not…

See you soon _Alexander_." He chuckled again, slipping out the door past Kevin

"Ugh…real it in dude- don't make me get out the spray bottle again…" Kevin grumbled rolling his eyes, pulling the door closed behind them.

As soon as the door closed Alec slumped, all but collapsing onto the armchair, giving a loud slightly pitiful groan, covering his eyes with his hand. Simon and Raphael burst out laughing, settling on the couch.

"O-oh my god Alec- _**dude**_ what?"

Raphael nodded eagerly, deep eyes flashing bright with laughter.

"Seriously Lightwood, what the hell was that?"

Alec groaned, giving a near helpless shrug.

"I-I don't even know…

Umm…so Raphael's living next door huh?"

Simon snorted, shaking his head.

"Wow and I thought I was bad at segues…"

Alec huffed, waving him off…

"Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious- if you guys are done laughing at me-"

"I'm not." Raphael smirked,

"Me either."

He glared at the two of them. Raphael rolled his eyes. Alec huffed, waving him off.

"We don't have much time before they get back and we have a lot to cover."

Raphael gave a scoffing laugh.

"No we don't: You are living here to protect Simon- I am living exactly thirty feet away in order to protect Simon AND you- you object, you can handle it on your own, protocol blah, blah, blah. I'm sure you can but if for any reason you can't I can. You have as much say in my part of the mission as I have in yours- which is to say none whatsoever. You're here- I'm there, suck it up and deal…now back to the thing with Magnus…"

_*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_ _*~Magnus ~*~ Magnus ~*~Magnus ~*~ Magnus ~*~ Magnus~*_ _*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*~__*____*____*____*____*____*____*____*__~*_

"Really I can't believe you Mags! That poor guy didn't know what to do! I mean really…"

He rolled his eyes, going on autopilot, falling into their usual banter, the standard Kevin chatter wash over him, lost in his own thoughts…

_Hmm… Alexander Lightwood._

This was rather unexpected. Mmm…the man really was gorgeous; Tall, powerful, with that sexy, messy bed head hair that he was just dying to run his fingers through and those beautiful, startlingly brilliant hazely green eyes…

_Mmm…_

_God…he looked even better now than he did six years ago…_

_CIA Agent Alexander Lightwood._

One of the agencies finest…in _**every**_ sense of the word. Sigh…he was always the most fun Agent to play with; so much conviction, so moral, so totally incorruptible…it was downright charming. Had to admit over the years with their little cat and mouse game he'd developed a bit of a soft spot for the pretty, pretty oh so moral Agent.

What on earth was a CIA agent doing living with a Nerdhearder?

More to the point what was a CIA agent doing living with the best friend of what was essentially his 'arch nemesis'.

_Sigh…he really is spending far too much time with Simon and Kev…_

His initial reaction was that the man had to have figured it out, somehow tracked him down in his retirement...but that didn't really fit with his reaction, and Alexander was a lot of things, but a great actor was not one of them. The man was just far too adorably honest for his own good…

Either he'd been taking acting classes nonstop for the last six years or his reaction was genuine. And what a reaction it was…

Hmm…that was fun…after he effectively retired he never thought he'd get the chance to meet the man face to face-_(which was a __**real**__ pity- it was such a very pretty face…) _Nevertheless it was one of the things he had to give up when he went straight- well…figuratively. At least he _thought_ it was...

This was a rather interesting turn of events…

So what was the oh so pretty, oh so moral Agent up to?

Was it a sting? A trap?

Is this a job?

If it IS a Job is Simon caught up in it? Or is he just an unknowing part of a cover?

He kind of doubted that option. That was never really Alexander's M.O. One of his favorite things about the man _(Well, right next to those pretty eyes and that sinfully distracting body)_ was his conviction- his utter selflessness.

Six years was quite a while but he didn't think it was enough to change the very core of someone's character…

_So…what was it?_

_What was the oh so pretty Agent Alexander Lightwood up to here? _

_He didn't know but he was damn well going to find out._

_T__h__e__E__n__d__*__*__*__*_ _*__*__*__F__o__r__N__o__w_

_Dun, dun, dun!_

_Bet you didn't see that coming, huh?_

Okay don't freak I promise I know what I'm doing- all will be revealed, all will make sense…I have to try to keep your guys's attention for NINE whole stories…have to keep you hooked somehow.

This one is gonna be a lot of fun. Lots of craziness, lots of twists and turns and spy craft fun. I really can't wait!

So as with the other verses I don't want to give away too much of what's to come but I don't want to leave you with nothing either…

The happy medium I've settled on is giving you guys the titles and letting you draw your own conclusions as to what they mean…So here's what we have in store for this verse:

2\. Nosey Neighbors-

3\. Misunderstood-

4\. Undercover Lover-

5\. The Prodigal Jerk Returns-

6\. Knock You Off Your Feet-

7\. Chaos Theory-

8\. Magnus The Super Spy-

9\. Family Dramatics-I Mean Dynamics (No, I Was Right The First Time)-

10\. Trouble Comes A Calling

Oookay…so a few of those may be a bit vague but it gives you some ideas…

Thank you all so much for reading and all the comments…they really mean a lot.

Oh FYI as of this chapter I have officially my word count is now over 1 million…I really can't thank you guys enough for keeping with these stories and following along with all my crazy…

_Thanks Again…_

_You guys are amazing!_

_**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__**S**__**i**__**m**__**o**__**n**__**T**__**h**__**e**__**N**__**o**__**t-**__**S**__**o-**__**S**__**u**__**p**__**e**__**r-**__**S**__**p**__**y**__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**__*****__**-**_

*** 39 ***


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